#35: When life hands you pumpkins, make pumpkin cupcakes.

Are there any kindergartners in America that have not visited a pumpkin patch this October? I know mine have for the past 3 years. The first two times, we had rotten pumpkins to throw away. It pained me to do that, but I did not know what else to do with them. Until I discovered what may be the best fall desert that every existed. Here it is! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

PUMPKIN CUPCAKES 

 Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, sift before measuring
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/3 cups sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten until frothy
• 1 cup mashed cooked or canned pumpkin
• 3/4 cup milk
• 3/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)

Preparation:

Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg into a bowl. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy; beat in eggs. Blend in mashed pumpkin. Stir in the sifted dry ingredients alternately with the milk, blending until batter is smooth after each addition; stir in chopped walnuts or pecans. Spoon batter into well-greased and floured or paper-lined muffin pan cups. Fill about 2/3 full. Bake at 375° for 20-25 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean.

Browned Butter Icing

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup margarine or butter
•  4 cups sifted powdered sugar
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Directions

In a small saucepan heat margarine or butter over low heat until melted; continue heating until margarine or butter turns a delicate brown. Remove from heat; pour into small mixing bowl. Add powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla; beat with an electric mixer on low speed until combined. Beat on medium to high speed, adding additional milk, if necessary, to make frosting of a spreading consistency. Makes enough to frost tops and sides of two 8- or 9-inch cake layers (12 servings).

To cook my pumpkin, I washed my pumpkin first. Then, cut the pumpkin in half and roasted it for an hour on 400 degrees. It also works with sweet potatoes!

 

Mommy Proof #34: What works for your family, works for YOUR family.

Guess what? Last week, we were all waiting for our children in the car line. I overheard one of the funniest statements I ever heard. "I. Would. Never...." Those three words are designed for the foolish. I do not believe you can ever say "never" in reference to what you will do in life. Life just isn't that simple. This conversation was about ADHD medications, other diagnosis, and children.

Guess what else? I used to be that parent. Everything was over diagnosed. Children were overly medicated. If people disciplined better, their children would behave better. Then, I had children. It was fine at first. The kids were well behaved. They acted liked kids, sometimes needed to be redirected, but, overall, parenting was pretty uneventful. Until, I sent them to school.

I'm not going to mention which one of my children, but let's just say that kid is a chatterbox. Never met a stranger. Always has a response. Stays asking a question, then telling you the answer. It was fine in kindergarten and 1st grade. The second grade, we started seeing yellows every now and then. In third grade, I saw an inconsistency with grades, but still doing well enough to pass. That was the first time a teacher asked about a possibility of attention deficit disorder. I ignored the teacher.

That wasn't my child's problem. My kid wasn't trying hard enough. I thought if we focused better. Maybe we should study more. Then, fourth grade started. I began to see this outgoing and happy kid have feelings of worthlessness. I would chastise and rack my brain as to how a test could be taken and the WHOLE second page was skipped resulting in a 15%.  Stuff I knew we went over would be missed on an assignment. One day, I decided to see, just see, what the symptoms of ADHD and ADD were. If that list didn't describe my child.....every, single, thing. It broke my heart. I failed my child based on my own views of reality.

Well, we changed diets. We played around with schedules. We attempted different ways of studying and focusing.  Nothing worked. So we decided to start medication. The grades came up and with that self-confidence followed suit. This is what I learned:

1. ADHD/ADD may be able to be treated in different ways, but sometimes medication is needed.
2. If medication is needed, it doesn't have to change your child into a "zombie." If your child does have those issues, then something needs to be addressed. We started with the smallest dosage and never experienced those issues. If we had, we would have changed medications.
3. Seek professional help if you see signs and symptoms. Do not allow you children to become disheartened.

I don't know if the rise in diagnosis are environmental or what, but they are on the rise. Do not fail your child.

Mommy Proof #33: Enjoy the moment.

I took three and a half months off from blogging. I shut down partially. I still posted pictures to tell my story on Instagram and Facebook, including countless others that went to close family and friends. Pictures tell a story. I am sure my kids are tired of the camera or phone always being ready for a snapshot, but they serve a purpose. My loves will see their lives through my eyes. Always a moment ready to be captured. A smile waiting to be memorialized. As these days fade from moment to moment and time blends into time, I want them to remember. They were loved. They were happy. They are the source of my joy.

Mommy Proof #32: To potty train, you must be all "in."

After reading Six Rs to Potty Training, one of the mommies has an "independent diva" that she is having a rough time potty training.  I'm hoping these pointers will help! Some people do not agree, but I feel potty training can be a play of "control" with some toddlers. Ever heard of a child urinating on the floor in defiance? My first child was almost 3 before she was potty trained and it was my husband that took the lead. Here are the things that I learned with her.

You have to be all "in": inclusion, intuition, intrigue, incentives, enthusiasm.

1. Inclusion means the state of being included. Potty training is an odd concept. "You want me to do what? In where?" It sounds absolutely ridiculous. From birth, they have been doing what is natural to them. To go when they had to and now we want them to learn something totally new. Also, everyone has to be included. It can be done in a long weekend. Meaning for some children, that ground work has been laid. Once it is laid, everyone has to fall in line. Speak to them, "Little one, starting tomorrow we need to use the potty all of the time!"

2. Intuition is necessary because they are learning something that she hasn't done before. I take my newly potty trained child every 15-20 minutes or so while giving them plenty to drink. Watermelon is a great snack if she likes it. ;-) I don't ask if they need to go. I tell the child it is time to use the potty now. Coax them with phrases so they know what you want them to do. This is where the potty training doll can be very helpful. Drink goes in here, Peepee comes out there! A phrase that helped with all of mine is, "Peepee come out!"
My second child held her urine until she was literally about to burst. The kid didn't want it to run down her legs and she didn't want to clean the floor. She couldn't even stand up straight. I sat her down on the potty and told the "peepee" to come out. I asked her where her tummy was hurting, which was at the top of her bladder and pressed ever so slightly. The flood gates opened and she learned the muscle that is needed to control it. We sometimes have to "show" them how to go.

3. Interest will make even the most headstrong kid come running to see what you are doing. I have used some interesting methods to get a child excited about using the potty. If you are comfortable, drink something, feign your "OH, MY! I have to go" action, and go running to the bathroom telling her to follow. Yes, I have done this. I also cheered for myself when I went. Sang the song as I washed my hands. Maybe, clapped for myself when I finished. :-/ BUT IT WORKED! The doll can serve the same purpose, without the Academy Award performance. I was that good, really nailed that role. Let her feed the baby and take her to the potty. It will click.

4. Incentives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snacks, stickers, stamps on the hand, dancing, praising, and singing. But my greatest incentive of all was starting with all white panties. There are two reasons: THEY ARE BORING! THEY ARE EASY TO BLEACH!  Once she has been dry for a week straight, you bring out the big kid undies. The colorful ones, maybe with characters, flowers, etc. They worked every time. 

5: My last tip is ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same way you would teach letters, numbers, and colors be enthusiastic. Would you want to learn something boring? Enough said!

Unofficial tip #6: Don't put a camera in the face of a toddler who is on the potty. You may or may not end up with urine on your foot. :'-(

Mommy Proof #31: Take a picture. It lasts longer.

Fewer moments in life are more exciting than bringing home a new baby. Oh, the smell of their newness will intoxicate a person making them unfit to make long term decisions. How many of us has left a new mother's house with nostalgia surrounding us in a cloud of memories? The thing about memories are that they are rarely as simple as we'd like to remember. So here are five reminders when welcoming a new baby home.

In your memory, having a newborn feels like this...

In reality....Need I say more?

1. They say newborns eat, sleep,and poop. That is a lie they tell you to fool you into having more children. Be prepared for your newborn to sleep beautifully in the hospital. The minute you bring them home they will engage you into a battle of wills. They will battle you until one of you passes out. They will win.

2. If you bring home a boy, be prepared for them to mark their territory. Everything is their territory. Your bed, their changing table, your couch....your face.

3. Newborns are cute and cuddly when they want to be. When they get hungry and/or wet, they turn into raging beasts. Remember to always keep them dry and clean. Remember that this is impossible.  Because as soon as you change a diaper, they eat. Then as soon as you feed them, they soil or wet themselves. You are failing at life.

4. Sleep when the baby sleeps! Keep in mind that the baby only sleeps at times that you need to be up and busy. Don't expect to make dinner if you are sleeping. If you have an older child......Well, sleep with your eyes open.

5. Enjoy it! A year from the day you bring your newborn home, you will be remembering how small they were and how fast they grew. Let their be dirty dishes in the sink. Keep up with laundry as you can. Photograph that first smile. Newborns are only new for a short period of time. Hold your newborn the way your friends with older children do. Drink in their essence. You can do it!


A special note to a special mommy: I hope you have an uneventful, quick, painless labor. :-/ Okay, well the painless part won't happen, but you will be just fine. I know you will continue to be as awesome a mother as your mother was to you. Now get to pushing!

Mommy Proof #30: It's okay to cry.

My oldest child had emergency surgery last week. Emergency is a word that is scary enough. Surgery is enough to make your heart stall. They have to put her under anesthesia. They have to cut her little body. She will forever be altered. How much pain will she be in? How will she cope? How will I cope? Who will watch my other children? Who will keep them during the surgery? What do I tell them? Then, your mind starts to run the gamut of  "What ifs?" What if the surgeon isn't the best? What if there is a complication? What if she doesn't wake up? What if...

There are no correct answers. In the hospital room before she was wheeled out of surgery, I paced back and forth with my mind racing. We went from a low grade fever and tummy ache to being admitted into the hospital. My baby was about to be cut open for the surgeon to remove her appendix, yet there she lay laughing and joking with us. So, I had to be brave. I couldn't show that I was scared. I couldn't cry. The problem is......I love to cry. I absolutely love to cry. It is great. It is a way to purge all of my emotions. It may be my favorite past time, but it isn't always productive. If I had shown her my tears, she would have known that I was scared. Then, she would have been scared.

Bob the Bear accompanied my daughter into the operating room. They removed his appendix, too.

Instead, I smiled and made lame jokes. Horribly, lame jokes. I didn't expect her to laugh and she didn't. It did break the ice though. It did allow her to say she didn't expect this to happen. It did help her to put her emotions into words. It made me realize that this was moving much too fast for her, too. It is probably what helped us to cope. From stomach ache to surgery, we didn't have time to be afraid. We had to face this head on and it made the hard decisions easy to make.

Life has a funny way of repeating itself. Nine and a half years before, it was just us in a hospital room facing the unknown. We didn't know what to expect, but we knew the next step had to be made. As her bed was rolled out of her room, I followed while silently praying. I prayed for her well being. I prayed she would be fine. I prayed everything would go well. I prayed that the surgeon would take care of her as I would. I prayed that this would all be over. I prayed that this would go away. I laughed as she joked with the anesthesiologist. I chuckled at her attempt to make jokes even though you could see her fear. My heart swelled with joy when I saw her face as her father walked in to embrace her small body. Then, she was wheeled away from us through those doors where I had no control. We held hands and walked down the corridor. Finally, I took a deep breath and sobs replaced it. Short, strong sobs that did not help, but allowed myself to feel what my mind thought.

An hour later, the surgeon walked down the hall with a smile on his face. Her infected appendix was gone. She was in recovery. She was going to be just fine and I cried again. It is okay to cry. I cried when I saw her in recovery. I cried when she was determined to get out of bed and walk. I shed a couple tears when I saw the determination etched on her face as she would attempt to sit up by herself. As I said earlier, life has a funny way of repeating itself. Once again, it was just us in a hospital room. Amen.

Hello, little Miss Invisible

Mommy Proof #29: I may have failed to mention my middle child....

I take it middle child syndrome is real. We have a second born child. I don't believe I have ever mentioned her. I'm positive I have never blogged about her. I have mentioned having four. I have written about my youngest child and his demands for the vast amount of my attention. I have laughed about my mini-me who makes me wonder how I ever decided that I could be some one's mother. I have triumphed with my third child who has overcome a few learning disablities. In the midst of it all, I may have accidentally failed to mention that I do, indeed, have another child that makes that number into a fabulous four. Her name may have fallen by the wayside as I focused my efforts on the child that needed it the most at any given moment.

She is a seven year old girl with the biggest smile and brightest eyes that you can imagine. A tiny one with a Bostonian accent that we all wonder where it came from as we live in a tiny country town. A daddy's girl at night and a mommy's girl during the day, that is our child. She looks like her father and has a personality like her mother. The kid that hardly ever gets sick, but when she does so sick she is! A child who cries every morning about going to school and smiles every afternoon as I pick her up. The easy going kid that never gets in any trouble. She is a perfect student. Quiet, well-mannered, appropriately behaved...

The type of kid that will call you from the school nurse's phone feigning an illness. Then when you get to the school, you can look in her eyes and tell that is not the real reason she is upset. You gather her into your arms and she melts into position. A hug is the cure for her discomfort. A cuddle is the needed therapy for a headache. A little bit of love is needed to hold her for the remaining four hours of school. So that is what I do, time and time again. Sometimes staying at the school to sit for library time. Watching her as she first watches me to see if I will remain there, then I am watching her as she forgets that I am still there. 

Then, she got sick and it reminded me of something. What if her sickness is not just a virus? What if it is something serious? How many minutes have I missed a memory to be made? So I decided to make more of an effort. I vowed to pay more attention than less when she is content to sit quietly. Instead of focusing on the ones that need to be entertained, what if I just go and sit quietly with her? What if I let her know that she is equally important? How many times have I neglected to do that? How content was she? I have come to cherish those times. They make her who she is and who she will become. I would hate for her to think that I focused so much on her siblings that I missed seeing her grow up...

One of the rare moments a family member captured. Just me, #2, and soon to #4....