Mommy Proof #32: To potty train, you must be all "in."

After reading Six Rs to Potty Training, one of the mommies has an "independent diva" that she is having a rough time potty training.  I'm hoping these pointers will help! Some people do not agree, but I feel potty training can be a play of "control" with some toddlers. Ever heard of a child urinating on the floor in defiance? My first child was almost 3 before she was potty trained and it was my husband that took the lead. Here are the things that I learned with her.

You have to be all "in": inclusion, intuition, intrigue, incentives, enthusiasm.

1. Inclusion means the state of being included. Potty training is an odd concept. "You want me to do what? In where?" It sounds absolutely ridiculous. From birth, they have been doing what is natural to them. To go when they had to and now we want them to learn something totally new. Also, everyone has to be included. It can be done in a long weekend. Meaning for some children, that ground work has been laid. Once it is laid, everyone has to fall in line. Speak to them, "Little one, starting tomorrow we need to use the potty all of the time!"

2. Intuition is necessary because they are learning something that she hasn't done before. I take my newly potty trained child every 15-20 minutes or so while giving them plenty to drink. Watermelon is a great snack if she likes it. ;-) I don't ask if they need to go. I tell the child it is time to use the potty now. Coax them with phrases so they know what you want them to do. This is where the potty training doll can be very helpful. Drink goes in here, Peepee comes out there! A phrase that helped with all of mine is, "Peepee come out!"
My second child held her urine until she was literally about to burst. The kid didn't want it to run down her legs and she didn't want to clean the floor. She couldn't even stand up straight. I sat her down on the potty and told the "peepee" to come out. I asked her where her tummy was hurting, which was at the top of her bladder and pressed ever so slightly. The flood gates opened and she learned the muscle that is needed to control it. We sometimes have to "show" them how to go.

3. Interest will make even the most headstrong kid come running to see what you are doing. I have used some interesting methods to get a child excited about using the potty. If you are comfortable, drink something, feign your "OH, MY! I have to go" action, and go running to the bathroom telling her to follow. Yes, I have done this. I also cheered for myself when I went. Sang the song as I washed my hands. Maybe, clapped for myself when I finished. :-/ BUT IT WORKED! The doll can serve the same purpose, without the Academy Award performance. I was that good, really nailed that role. Let her feed the baby and take her to the potty. It will click.

4. Incentives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snacks, stickers, stamps on the hand, dancing, praising, and singing. But my greatest incentive of all was starting with all white panties. There are two reasons: THEY ARE BORING! THEY ARE EASY TO BLEACH!  Once she has been dry for a week straight, you bring out the big kid undies. The colorful ones, maybe with characters, flowers, etc. They worked every time. 

5: My last tip is ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same way you would teach letters, numbers, and colors be enthusiastic. Would you want to learn something boring? Enough said!

Unofficial tip #6: Don't put a camera in the face of a toddler who is on the potty. You may or may not end up with urine on your foot. :'-(