Yes, it is time for a mommy confession. When I was younger and my magical imagination was still intact, I actually believed that the world really did revolve around me. So much so, that the clouds followed me around. Every time I looked out the window, that is what they were doing. Morphing into shapes that were just for my pleasure and entertainment. A lot of times, my mother didn't see those shapes until I pointed them out to her. If I stopped long enough to really look, the clouds would realize what I was doing and slowly start inching away from me. The clouds must have thought I would be a STAR!
Well, look where that has led me. I am a star. I can't have a conversation without the paparrazi...AKA kids....hanging on my every word. My toddler is always pulling my shirt off and hanging on my every movement. I have my very own stalkers. Every time I turn on a particular social network, I am bombarded by people that essentially want me to sponsor their every move. They hold us signs trying to get me to agree/like/share their every move. Because if I share it, others will.
"Like if you think I am pretty."
"My mom said if we get a million likes we can get a puppy."
"My dad said if we get a million shares we can get a kitten."
"Like if you love your mother, if you don't share you hate her."
"My husband said if we get a million likes we are going to Disney World."
"Like if you love bacon."
The first time I saw those likes, I was all for it. How could I not be happy that somebody's grandmother turned 103? How could it not be inspiring that the four year old had his last chemo treatment? Of course, I am cheering for them. How could I not? But somewhere along the lines, someone decided that turning 103 was too big of a feat for their family and decided to bring the 'likes' down to Earth. I began to wonder, just what is social media doing to our lives? Have we and are we raising a generation of people that can't make a decision without getting validation for it? Then, I saw the commercial where the little boy flushes the toilet and a parade arrives outside his door.
That is when I saw what has happened to our lives. Everything has become praiseworthy. The other day, I proudly exclaimed for the benefit of my tyrannical toddler, "I love how you are all playing nicely together!" One of the older kids said, "Look how I am building ALL BY MYSELF!" I was taken back as to what to say. Surely, she doesn't want me to repeat the earlier commendation. I decided to use my sarcastic wit as a reminder that she has been doing that since she was her little brother's age of 1. That made everyone collapse into giggles as they imagined themselves at his age. I began to wonder if I am doing to my children the very thing I hate. As I scrolled through my pictures, I was happy and afraid to see that I may have created a milestone of sorts: first smile, first prayer, first tooth filled grin, first snow, but what I didn't do was try to make it into a cornucopia of Mad TV "Stuart." (Please tell me you remember that comedic genius! "Look what I can do!" http://www.amazon.com/Best-MadTV-Seasons-Craig-Anton/dp/B000A88EUK ) I didn't post:
"Share if you like snow!"
"Like if you love to pray"
"Share if you like teeth, if you don't share your teeth will fall out."
I planned a trip to take the kids to Disney World and I took them without a million likes. The first time my kids got a pet I didn't petition my friends to share the picture. I didn't make a you tube video of my children pop locking to a Korean pop star. I have made it through my life so far without getting a million likes....or even a hundred. So this is my promise to you. You will never open this blog and see a picture of my toddler's first poop. You will never see if he smeared it all over his hands. You will never see the first time he asks if you like sea food, then opens his mouth for you to see his chewed up food. I may make a status about the last time he nurses, but I promise to NEVER, EVER post a picture of me crying outside with my empty milk-less breasts flapping in the wind. Now, share this blog for a million likes. O_o
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