Mommy Proof #44: 20 things you should NOT say to a SAHM
1. You have your hands full.
2. Better you, than me.
3. What do you do all day?
4. You need a job.
5. You need a hobby.
6. You have it easy.
7. They are hiring at....
8. You know, the school district is hiring.
9. You should put the baby in daycare and get a real job.
10. You shouldn't make them your whole life.
11. If I were you...
12. I bet that gets boring.
13. If you put them in daycare...
14. When they are in school, you can work.
15. If I were you, I'd work while they are in school.
16. So you just sit at home all day...
17. I know your husband wishes you worked.
18. You should give your husband a break.
19. Why would you ever choose to do that?
20. I'll pray for you.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Friday, November 21, 2014
Mommy Proof #43: One voice must become many...
We had a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. Had. There is a story behind that problem that came to a tragic end. Because of bullying, Brandon's life was cut tragically short on November 14th. We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. HAVE. I'm positive that young Brandon was not the only child bullied at that school. We have a bullying problem in this country. So what happens now? A few days after her son committed suicide, his mother spoke out! She wants their voices to be heard! So I will lend my voice to hers.
We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. I know for a fact that I may become like Brandon's mother. Grieving a childhood that has been cut short, not by my child's own hands, but by my child's voice being ignored. By other children seeing a problem, commenting on an issue and still being ignored. By parents speaking out and seeking help, only to be told that person's age is too young to prosecute or a person's position gives them the right to be a bully. Everyone knows, but no one speaks loud enough to be heard. Everyone nods and believes it is true, but no one stands up for the victims. If one person speaks out, it can be swept under the rug. If everyone speaks out, a change must occur. Maybe if one person speaks loud enough, it cannot be ignored. WE HAVE A BULLYING PROBLEM IN UNION, SC.
On August 28th, my child was verbally assaulted. You can imagine my surprise when I asked how the kids' day went and was met with a question by my 8 year old. What was the question? "Mommy, what's a dick?" A dick! My third grader asked me what was a d*ck and what did it mean to "suck" it. As a parent, what would you have done? I did what most parents would have done, called the school, spoke to the principal, followed up with a visit to the teacher. I made it clear that this was unacceptable and something had to be done. I was assured that it would be handled. I was also positive that it would be a serious concern for the principal. Surely, the head of a school would be outraged that ANY child would have to deal with such vile sayings from another child!
On September 3rd, her teacher wrote me to say, "{Your child} was upset when she came back from PE today. When I asked her she said she didn't like talking about it. Maybe you can find out and let me know. Thanks."
The week of Sept 23rd, I went to my daughter's classroom to meet the long term substitute. I also wanted to inform her of the problem with {bully}. She assured me she would keep an eye on it.
The week of Sept 30th, my child is bullied by the same student yet again. I speak to the principal. She promises me to keep him away from my daughter. I ask to switch her class. I'm told that she will handle it and it won't be a problem. That there was no need to switch her class. I believe that is the week the principal sat in the class to "observe."
On October 13th, my child is bullied and the principal states, "She is unsure what he {the bully} has against her."
On October 16th, I came to the school to have lunch with my third grader. A few students told me that the {bully} was messing with my child. I told him to stay away from her. It isn't nice to say nasty words to others. While I am at the lunch table, the kids begin to tell me how the {bully} bullies them. I also witnessed it at the table. I later went and talked to the principal. She promised that he won't have lunch or recess with the other children. That she will "keep him with her." I was also told that he has "made great strides." That he has admitted that he "doesn't know why he is mean to my daughter." The principal keeps asking him "if he wants friends" and how he can't make friends by calling them names and hitting them. In the meantime, he was cursing my child out and calling her names on a regular basis.
On October 22nd, my little girl complains about her hair being pulled and the bully calling her names. I go in and talk to the principal. The teacher has seen nothing. My daughter has been called, "Dumbo, stupid, gay, and an ugly boy. I was also told by my child that she has asked to go to the guidance counselor repeatedly. She was told that she couldn't go. i speak to the teacher. She is "unaware" that there is an issue. As I walk from the class, another child asks me if I am there "because {bully} won't leave my child alone."
On October 29th, my child said that the bully hurt her arm.
On October 30th, I confronted the principal and told her that the child is getting worse. It is now physical abuse. She tells me that she would handle it. I told her it should have been shut down the moment he sexually harassed her. She told me not to worry. It would be handled. The principal asks if we would like to put my daughter in another class. I asked why my child would be moved when she isn't the issue. There were at least two other children that switched classes, because of that child. My child begs for us not to send her to school. She doesn't want to be bullied.
She misses school October 31st because she didn't want to go to school and be bullied once again.
On November 3rd, my husband and I go into talk to the principal. As we wait for the teacher to join us, she begins to share with us personal information about the bully's life. I inform her that he is the "least of my concern. If you want to sing his praises, call his mother. I am here for my child." We are told that they probably like each other. That my daughter is a pretty girl. That she should "give him a chance." My daughter said she doesn't always tell, because a lot of the time nothing is done. My child is told by the principal, "If you don't tell the teacher, you better not go home and tell your mommy."
On November 4th, I write a letter to the superintendent about my concerns on how the principal has handled the bullying problem.
On November 5th, There is a physical altercation between the two of them. After speaking to my daughter and two other kids, it is determined that he hit her first.
On November 6th, I'm called into the office about the fight supposedly. The first thing out of the principal's mouth is that she just found out that my daughter CURSES at school. (I later found out that my daughter and another student repeated some names that ANOTHER child said to them. I informed her that wasn't acceptable.) Nothing about the altercation between my child and her bully. The principal never heard the cursing. It is called a "lover's quarrel." My daughter is a huge part of the problem when before she wasn't sure why the bully wouldn't leave her alone. Even after all of the physical abuse that has been endured by my daughter, she is told that she will be suspended if SHE hits HIM back. Later as we talked she told me some of the things that the principal told her and how she made her cry. She told me that the principal made her tell her story in front of the bully. That is against protocol. You never have them in the same room to share what happened.
I went into share my experiences with the Superintendent on November 10th. When we get to the school, we speak with the guidance counselor, principal, superintendent, and the teacher. The other child's mother is in the office. They are moving him to another class. He has been bullied because of his "baby voice and he sucks his thumb." The principal says that she wasn't aware that there was a bullying problem between him and my child. When I stated that several children were aware of this child bullying my child, the principal stated, "Well, they are 8 years old." My response? " Exactly discredit them at the source." If we have adults in charge that are ignoring the pleas for help from students based off of their ages, then who is really in charge? If the bullies go on without the fear of consequences, what is the deterrence for the bad actions? A couple of days after my child was attacked by the bully, then by the adult in charge, the principal punished several students for bullying. But not the child that assaulted my child....so where do we go from here?
I asked the school district for the notes from that meeting that prompted me to make this video. That was over a week ago and I still haven't received them. Just as my child was ignored, so am I. The difference is, I'm not a child. I have a voice that doesn't have to be ignored. We have parents that have dealt with the same situation that our family has been forced to endure. Silenced. Swept under the rug. The problem rages on. My fear is if we, as parents, do not stand up for a change, which one of our children is going to be the next Brandon? Or will Union, SC be famous for something other than Susan Smith killing her young boys? A former employee of the Union County School District was quoted as saying, "It's not a matter of IF there will be a school shooting. It is a matter of WHEN." I do not know a parent that wants to countdown to another school shooting. Your child may not be the child being bullied, but bullets have no name assigned to them. I do not a mother that wants to bury her child as a result of something that could have been prevented.
I have a letter in my possession from the previous guidance counselor at this school. She talks about how the teachers were bullied with the thought of losing their employment if they spoke out and stood up against the principal. We have a huge issue in Union about bullying. It is only a matter of time before one of these students takes their life or the lives of others. Brandon's mother couldn't save her own child, but she is brave enough to speak out and help save others. But one voice only makes so much noise, we need that one voice to become many. We need to join Brandon's mother in fighting the bullying that occurs in our schools. We need his childhood to be the last one cut short! One voice is hard to hear and take seriously, with one voice nothing will change. If no one stands for bullying in our schools, everything will change! We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. We have a bullying problem in South Carolina. We have a bullying problem in the USA. Now, what are we going to do about it? #bullyingstopsatthetop
We had a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. Had. There is a story behind that problem that came to a tragic end. Because of bullying, Brandon's life was cut tragically short on November 14th. We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. HAVE. I'm positive that young Brandon was not the only child bullied at that school. We have a bullying problem in this country. So what happens now? A few days after her son committed suicide, his mother spoke out! She wants their voices to be heard! So I will lend my voice to hers.
We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. I know for a fact that I may become like Brandon's mother. Grieving a childhood that has been cut short, not by my child's own hands, but by my child's voice being ignored. By other children seeing a problem, commenting on an issue and still being ignored. By parents speaking out and seeking help, only to be told that person's age is too young to prosecute or a person's position gives them the right to be a bully. Everyone knows, but no one speaks loud enough to be heard. Everyone nods and believes it is true, but no one stands up for the victims. If one person speaks out, it can be swept under the rug. If everyone speaks out, a change must occur. Maybe if one person speaks loud enough, it cannot be ignored. WE HAVE A BULLYING PROBLEM IN UNION, SC.
On August 28th, my child was verbally assaulted. You can imagine my surprise when I asked how the kids' day went and was met with a question by my 8 year old. What was the question? "Mommy, what's a dick?" A dick! My third grader asked me what was a d*ck and what did it mean to "suck" it. As a parent, what would you have done? I did what most parents would have done, called the school, spoke to the principal, followed up with a visit to the teacher. I made it clear that this was unacceptable and something had to be done. I was assured that it would be handled. I was also positive that it would be a serious concern for the principal. Surely, the head of a school would be outraged that ANY child would have to deal with such vile sayings from another child!
On September 3rd, her teacher wrote me to say, "{Your child} was upset when she came back from PE today. When I asked her she said she didn't like talking about it. Maybe you can find out and let me know. Thanks."
The week of Sept 23rd, I went to my daughter's classroom to meet the long term substitute. I also wanted to inform her of the problem with {bully}. She assured me she would keep an eye on it.
The week of Sept 30th, my child is bullied by the same student yet again. I speak to the principal. She promises me to keep him away from my daughter. I ask to switch her class. I'm told that she will handle it and it won't be a problem. That there was no need to switch her class. I believe that is the week the principal sat in the class to "observe."
On October 13th, my child is bullied and the principal states, "She is unsure what he {the bully} has against her."
On October 16th, I came to the school to have lunch with my third grader. A few students told me that the {bully} was messing with my child. I told him to stay away from her. It isn't nice to say nasty words to others. While I am at the lunch table, the kids begin to tell me how the {bully} bullies them. I also witnessed it at the table. I later went and talked to the principal. She promised that he won't have lunch or recess with the other children. That she will "keep him with her." I was also told that he has "made great strides." That he has admitted that he "doesn't know why he is mean to my daughter." The principal keeps asking him "if he wants friends" and how he can't make friends by calling them names and hitting them. In the meantime, he was cursing my child out and calling her names on a regular basis.
On October 22nd, my little girl complains about her hair being pulled and the bully calling her names. I go in and talk to the principal. The teacher has seen nothing. My daughter has been called, "Dumbo, stupid, gay, and an ugly boy. I was also told by my child that she has asked to go to the guidance counselor repeatedly. She was told that she couldn't go. i speak to the teacher. She is "unaware" that there is an issue. As I walk from the class, another child asks me if I am there "because {bully} won't leave my child alone."
On October 29th, my child said that the bully hurt her arm.
On October 30th, I confronted the principal and told her that the child is getting worse. It is now physical abuse. She tells me that she would handle it. I told her it should have been shut down the moment he sexually harassed her. She told me not to worry. It would be handled. The principal asks if we would like to put my daughter in another class. I asked why my child would be moved when she isn't the issue. There were at least two other children that switched classes, because of that child. My child begs for us not to send her to school. She doesn't want to be bullied.
She misses school October 31st because she didn't want to go to school and be bullied once again.
On November 3rd, my husband and I go into talk to the principal. As we wait for the teacher to join us, she begins to share with us personal information about the bully's life. I inform her that he is the "least of my concern. If you want to sing his praises, call his mother. I am here for my child." We are told that they probably like each other. That my daughter is a pretty girl. That she should "give him a chance." My daughter said she doesn't always tell, because a lot of the time nothing is done. My child is told by the principal, "If you don't tell the teacher, you better not go home and tell your mommy."
On November 4th, I write a letter to the superintendent about my concerns on how the principal has handled the bullying problem.
On November 5th, There is a physical altercation between the two of them. After speaking to my daughter and two other kids, it is determined that he hit her first.
On November 6th, I'm called into the office about the fight supposedly. The first thing out of the principal's mouth is that she just found out that my daughter CURSES at school. (I later found out that my daughter and another student repeated some names that ANOTHER child said to them. I informed her that wasn't acceptable.) Nothing about the altercation between my child and her bully. The principal never heard the cursing. It is called a "lover's quarrel." My daughter is a huge part of the problem when before she wasn't sure why the bully wouldn't leave her alone. Even after all of the physical abuse that has been endured by my daughter, she is told that she will be suspended if SHE hits HIM back. Later as we talked she told me some of the things that the principal told her and how she made her cry. She told me that the principal made her tell her story in front of the bully. That is against protocol. You never have them in the same room to share what happened.
I went into share my experiences with the Superintendent on November 10th. When we get to the school, we speak with the guidance counselor, principal, superintendent, and the teacher. The other child's mother is in the office. They are moving him to another class. He has been bullied because of his "baby voice and he sucks his thumb." The principal says that she wasn't aware that there was a bullying problem between him and my child. When I stated that several children were aware of this child bullying my child, the principal stated, "Well, they are 8 years old." My response? " Exactly discredit them at the source." If we have adults in charge that are ignoring the pleas for help from students based off of their ages, then who is really in charge? If the bullies go on without the fear of consequences, what is the deterrence for the bad actions? A couple of days after my child was attacked by the bully, then by the adult in charge, the principal punished several students for bullying. But not the child that assaulted my child....so where do we go from here?
I asked the school district for the notes from that meeting that prompted me to make this video. That was over a week ago and I still haven't received them. Just as my child was ignored, so am I. The difference is, I'm not a child. I have a voice that doesn't have to be ignored. We have parents that have dealt with the same situation that our family has been forced to endure. Silenced. Swept under the rug. The problem rages on. My fear is if we, as parents, do not stand up for a change, which one of our children is going to be the next Brandon? Or will Union, SC be famous for something other than Susan Smith killing her young boys? A former employee of the Union County School District was quoted as saying, "It's not a matter of IF there will be a school shooting. It is a matter of WHEN." I do not know a parent that wants to countdown to another school shooting. Your child may not be the child being bullied, but bullets have no name assigned to them. I do not a mother that wants to bury her child as a result of something that could have been prevented.
I have a letter in my possession from the previous guidance counselor at this school. She talks about how the teachers were bullied with the thought of losing their employment if they spoke out and stood up against the principal. We have a huge issue in Union about bullying. It is only a matter of time before one of these students takes their life or the lives of others. Brandon's mother couldn't save her own child, but she is brave enough to speak out and help save others. But one voice only makes so much noise, we need that one voice to become many. We need to join Brandon's mother in fighting the bullying that occurs in our schools. We need his childhood to be the last one cut short! One voice is hard to hear and take seriously, with one voice nothing will change. If no one stands for bullying in our schools, everything will change! We have a bullying problem in Pickens, SC. We have a bullying problem in Union, SC. We have a bullying problem in South Carolina. We have a bullying problem in the USA. Now, what are we going to do about it? #bullyingstopsatthetop
Thursday, June 12, 2014
42 REASONS WHY BREASTFEEDING IS A BIGGER DEAL TO OTHERS THAN IT NEEDS TO BE....
Mommy Proof #42: I mind my own nipple.
Recently, a mother's picture was taken while she was nursing her infant daughter. Then, a firestorm erupted. This woman's choice to breastfeed her child during her graduation was deemed inappropriate and people went as far as to call her derogatory names. A few individuals asked me what was my opinion on the photo that has been shared repeatedly on the internet. The truth is that I really do not care where or how this woman chose to feed her child. The baby was hungry. The baby ate. That is all that matters to me.
Why? I was the woman nursing a baby during an awards program. I have nursed in front of children playing at the playground. I have nursed while walking through outlet malls with three older children surrounding me. I have nursed while grocery shopping. I have nursed at my aunt's wedding. I have nursed during religious services. I had one child that would absolutely have destroyed a room's sound barrier if he did not get fed when he deemed necessary. So we fed him. At the zoo. In the mall. In a PTA meeting. It happens. Babies get hungry. Someone feeds them.
While I have nursed, I have heard some of the silliest comments known to man, well, woman. Here are 42 reasons why breastfeeding is a bigger deal to other people than it is to the nursing mother. Most of these statements stem from a lack of knowledge. These statements and the way society views a woman's breasts are the reasons why nursing has become taboo in public. Contrary to popular belief, some women cannot pump. Some women call their breasts by their proper name. Some women do not view breasts just as sexual objects. Some women choose to bottle feed. Some women choose to formula feed. Some women choose to exclusively nurse. I have formula fed and breastfed.
42 things I have heard while nursing in public:
1. Ewwww...
2. Is she....OMAGAHD....she got her titty out. (This is after they leaned over and studied the baby to see why I put a blanket over her head.)
3. Why didn't you just pump?
4. Isn't pumping easier?
5. Aren't your breasts too small to breast feed?
6. That's nasty.
7. That is gross.
8. There is a bathroom with a couch on the other side of the mall. (Because everyone likes to walk a mile with a screaming baby to find a bathroom to feed said child just to eat while smelling fecal matter. That sentence didn't make any sense? Neither did that suggestion.)
9. Doesn't that feel funny....like...you know.....weird?
10. I could never have a baby sucking on my nipples. That is...sexual.
11. Does he cry like that every time he gets hungry? (Don't all babies cry? That is how they communicate.)
12. I could not have my baby ONLY want ME.
13. You have to get up during the night for every feeding? (Obviously, formula fed babies make their own bottles. Oh, wait, no, they do not.)
14. How does your husband help if the baby is breastfed.
15. I know your husband can't wait until you stop.
16. You don't think it is wrong for the baby not to be fed by daddy, too? What about their bond?
17. I could never just whip out my TITTY for anyone to see. (For the record, I have never "whipped my titty out." I have discreetly latched a baby on to my nipple, though. Go figure.)
18. I mean, how does that taste? (After I answered...) You mean you tasted your own breast milk? (After answering that question and asking them if they have tasted their own child's formula...) That is just nasty. (O.o)
19. Why don't you just give him a bottle? (What exactly would my baby do with an empty bottle?)
20. You ONLY give them breast milk? (The baby was 9 weeks.)
21. You don't give them water? I am surprised your child doesn't have kidney damage.
22. How do you sterilize your nipples?
23. You should ask the doctor if your breast milk is enough...
24. Are you nursing? There are children here! (My response: There is a child here, too. She is trying to eat. O.o)
25. You are nursing again?
26. She is still hungry?
27. How do you know she is getting enough?
28. Why are you switching sides? There is milk in both of them?
29. Do you ever run out of milk?
30. Why would you want to do that?
31. You are going to stop after 6 weeks right?
32. You are going to stop after she gets teeth, right?
33. You are going to stop once he starts biting, right?
34. You are going to stop once they start asking for it, right?
35. I couldn't have someone on my breast after they learn how to talk...
36. What if you leak?
37. Now no one will be able to watch her.
38. You could just give him formula. That would be easier.
39. I didn't nurse, because I wanted my baby to be independent.
40. I would just start formula now or transition to whole milk. (The baby was 9 months, mind you.)
41. That is more of a comfort for you than it is nutritious for them.
42. Poor people breastfeed. I can afford formula. You should get WIC.
So, in other words, I mind my own nipple. Someone else nursing in public is none of my business. I may have done the same thing at some point during my almost ten years of nursing. When my 6 year old son saw the picture of Karlesha nursing her baby, he said, "Cute baby!" That was what he saw in the picture. So, if all you see is her breast when you look at this picture, you may be the one with the problem...not the woman that was handed a hungry baby and happened to smile while feeding her.
Recently, a mother's picture was taken while she was nursing her infant daughter. Then, a firestorm erupted. This woman's choice to breastfeed her child during her graduation was deemed inappropriate and people went as far as to call her derogatory names. A few individuals asked me what was my opinion on the photo that has been shared repeatedly on the internet. The truth is that I really do not care where or how this woman chose to feed her child. The baby was hungry. The baby ate. That is all that matters to me.
 |
| Congratulations, Karlesha Thurman! |
Why? I was the woman nursing a baby during an awards program. I have nursed in front of children playing at the playground. I have nursed while walking through outlet malls with three older children surrounding me. I have nursed while grocery shopping. I have nursed at my aunt's wedding. I have nursed during religious services. I had one child that would absolutely have destroyed a room's sound barrier if he did not get fed when he deemed necessary. So we fed him. At the zoo. In the mall. In a PTA meeting. It happens. Babies get hungry. Someone feeds them.
While I have nursed, I have heard some of the silliest comments known to man, well, woman. Here are 42 reasons why breastfeeding is a bigger deal to other people than it is to the nursing mother. Most of these statements stem from a lack of knowledge. These statements and the way society views a woman's breasts are the reasons why nursing has become taboo in public. Contrary to popular belief, some women cannot pump. Some women call their breasts by their proper name. Some women do not view breasts just as sexual objects. Some women choose to bottle feed. Some women choose to formula feed. Some women choose to exclusively nurse. I have formula fed and breastfed.
42 things I have heard while nursing in public:
1. Ewwww...
2. Is she....OMAGAHD....she got her titty out. (This is after they leaned over and studied the baby to see why I put a blanket over her head.)
3. Why didn't you just pump?
4. Isn't pumping easier?
5. Aren't your breasts too small to breast feed?
6. That's nasty.
7. That is gross.
8. There is a bathroom with a couch on the other side of the mall. (Because everyone likes to walk a mile with a screaming baby to find a bathroom to feed said child just to eat while smelling fecal matter. That sentence didn't make any sense? Neither did that suggestion.)
9. Doesn't that feel funny....like...you know.....weird?
10. I could never have a baby sucking on my nipples. That is...sexual.
11. Does he cry like that every time he gets hungry? (Don't all babies cry? That is how they communicate.)
12. I could not have my baby ONLY want ME.
13. You have to get up during the night for every feeding? (Obviously, formula fed babies make their own bottles. Oh, wait, no, they do not.)
14. How does your husband help if the baby is breastfed.
15. I know your husband can't wait until you stop.
16. You don't think it is wrong for the baby not to be fed by daddy, too? What about their bond?
17. I could never just whip out my TITTY for anyone to see. (For the record, I have never "whipped my titty out." I have discreetly latched a baby on to my nipple, though. Go figure.)
18. I mean, how does that taste? (After I answered...) You mean you tasted your own breast milk? (After answering that question and asking them if they have tasted their own child's formula...) That is just nasty. (O.o)
19. Why don't you just give him a bottle? (What exactly would my baby do with an empty bottle?)
20. You ONLY give them breast milk? (The baby was 9 weeks.)
21. You don't give them water? I am surprised your child doesn't have kidney damage.
22. How do you sterilize your nipples?
23. You should ask the doctor if your breast milk is enough...
24. Are you nursing? There are children here! (My response: There is a child here, too. She is trying to eat. O.o)
25. You are nursing again?
26. She is still hungry?
27. How do you know she is getting enough?
28. Why are you switching sides? There is milk in both of them?
29. Do you ever run out of milk?
30. Why would you want to do that?
31. You are going to stop after 6 weeks right?
32. You are going to stop after she gets teeth, right?
33. You are going to stop once he starts biting, right?
34. You are going to stop once they start asking for it, right?
35. I couldn't have someone on my breast after they learn how to talk...
36. What if you leak?
37. Now no one will be able to watch her.
38. You could just give him formula. That would be easier.
39. I didn't nurse, because I wanted my baby to be independent.
40. I would just start formula now or transition to whole milk. (The baby was 9 months, mind you.)
41. That is more of a comfort for you than it is nutritious for them.
42. Poor people breastfeed. I can afford formula. You should get WIC.
So, in other words, I mind my own nipple. Someone else nursing in public is none of my business. I may have done the same thing at some point during my almost ten years of nursing. When my 6 year old son saw the picture of Karlesha nursing her baby, he said, "Cute baby!" That was what he saw in the picture. So, if all you see is her breast when you look at this picture, you may be the one with the problem...not the woman that was handed a hungry baby and happened to smile while feeding her.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Is being a SAHM a dying profession?
MOMMY PROOF #41: The hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
-W. R. Wallace
Today, I am trying to find a job. I have been applying and applying with little to no skills to brag about. The resume of what my life has been for the last ten years is nothing that would impress an employer. I have been pregnant for 3 of the last 10 years. I have nursed for almost five of those years. The problem is that Human Incubator and Professional Wet nurse and Caregiver are not recognizable employment.
I was silly enough not to make myself more marketable once I entered the work force. I kept seeing the classes take the focus from my little ones and I put it on the back burner. As a result, I am stuck in a prison that I have created for myself. As I try to fill a resume, I am drawing a blank. In the last almost eleven years, I have been a nurse, chauffeur, scheduler, appointment maker, teacher, laundry operator, housekeeper, cook, facilities manager, daycare provider, and referee. I can get four kids presentable in less than 20 minutes as I make the effort to run out of the door and get them to class on time. I can wash sweat and dirt off of a wiggling, wet body in less than 10 minutes. I am extremely efficient with bath time and washing hair. I can make dinner in less than 30 minutes with all natural ingredients, no cartons or boxes, and no preservatives. What I cannot do? Find a job. A job that allows me to be at home when the kids need me. A job that allows me to be AWAY from home when I need to be.....
I better finish that NASM book and certification....
Is the hand that rules the world.
-W. R. Wallace
Today, I am trying to find a job. I have been applying and applying with little to no skills to brag about. The resume of what my life has been for the last ten years is nothing that would impress an employer. I have been pregnant for 3 of the last 10 years. I have nursed for almost five of those years. The problem is that Human Incubator and Professional Wet nurse and Caregiver are not recognizable employment.
I was silly enough not to make myself more marketable once I entered the work force. I kept seeing the classes take the focus from my little ones and I put it on the back burner. As a result, I am stuck in a prison that I have created for myself. As I try to fill a resume, I am drawing a blank. In the last almost eleven years, I have been a nurse, chauffeur, scheduler, appointment maker, teacher, laundry operator, housekeeper, cook, facilities manager, daycare provider, and referee. I can get four kids presentable in less than 20 minutes as I make the effort to run out of the door and get them to class on time. I can wash sweat and dirt off of a wiggling, wet body in less than 10 minutes. I am extremely efficient with bath time and washing hair. I can make dinner in less than 30 minutes with all natural ingredients, no cartons or boxes, and no preservatives. What I cannot do? Find a job. A job that allows me to be at home when the kids need me. A job that allows me to be AWAY from home when I need to be.....
I better finish that NASM book and certification....
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Mommy Proof #40: Be comfortable in your own skin...or nah
I am a size 2-4 and I hate my body. I mean hate, hate. I hate my skin. I hate my cellulite. I hate my stretch marks. I hate saggy breasts that have been ravaged of five years of nursing. I hate my stomach that has been stretched and deflated over and over and over and over again. I hate that I underestimated how hard it would be to keep my body toned and fit. I hate that I lost the interest to do something about it. But what I hate most may surprise most of you, I hate the compliments.
It bothers me when fellow women come up to me and comment on the size of my waist. I don't want you to think that it is offensive. It just bothers me when people speak about my body, because they don't see the truth of it. Others do not get to experience the sadness I feel when I disrobe, then look at how pregnancy ravaged my body. They do not realize that while those 40 pounds gained do not seem like a lot to them, it was a huge amount for me. They do not see where I burnt my nine month pregnant baby bump after spilling hot water on it while draining spaghetti. They do not take me seriously.
While you probably roll your eyes at this admission, it is something that most women go through. Most of us look at our bodies and see something we wish we could change. I laid in my husband's arms the other night and wept. For eight years, I covered up instead of wearing what I wanted to wear. I found clothing that would hide my flaws as opposed to working on myself. I have a confession to make: I'm disappointed with myself. I'm ashamed of the jiggling that occurs that no one can see, but I can feel. I'm angry with what I allowed myself to become. Not because of my body, but because I settled. I'm done with settling. I'm going to do what I wanted to do with my life. I'm going to spend the next decade living the life I wanted to live and I'm going to begin today...with myself. So, hold me to it and stay tuned.
Coming up soon: My bikini inspiration that I must fit into by July and the body that says nah...
I am a size 2-4 and I hate my body. I mean hate, hate. I hate my skin. I hate my cellulite. I hate my stretch marks. I hate saggy breasts that have been ravaged of five years of nursing. I hate my stomach that has been stretched and deflated over and over and over and over again. I hate that I underestimated how hard it would be to keep my body toned and fit. I hate that I lost the interest to do something about it. But what I hate most may surprise most of you, I hate the compliments.
It bothers me when fellow women come up to me and comment on the size of my waist. I don't want you to think that it is offensive. It just bothers me when people speak about my body, because they don't see the truth of it. Others do not get to experience the sadness I feel when I disrobe, then look at how pregnancy ravaged my body. They do not realize that while those 40 pounds gained do not seem like a lot to them, it was a huge amount for me. They do not see where I burnt my nine month pregnant baby bump after spilling hot water on it while draining spaghetti. They do not take me seriously.
Coming up soon: My bikini inspiration that I must fit into by July and the body that says nah...
Thursday, February 13, 2014
This is why Mimosas were created....
Mommy Proof #39: Your children can talk all day long and never tire out...
1. "Can I have some cake?" (at 7:55 am)
2. "Can I have some breakfast?" (at 7:55 and 32 seconds am)
3. "Can I have some cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
4. "Why can't I have cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
5. "Why did you eat cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
6. "Can I have waffles?" (7:57 am)
7. NOT DIRECTED AT ME: "Isn't it funny how cake and waffles have the same ingredients in them, yet one is a breakfast food and the other is a dessert?" (8:30 am)
8. "We are going to go play!" (9 am)
9. "Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!" (9:10 am)
10. "That is not fair." (9:10 am)
11. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" (9:10 am)
12. "Give it back!" (9:10 am)
13. "That is mine!" (9:10 am)
14. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
15. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
16. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
17. "Mooooooooooom! Mom! MAMA! Mommy!" (9:10 am)
18. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!" (9:10 am)
19. When giving the option to go to their separate rooms: "We are going to go play!" (9:11 am)
20. "I'm hungry!" (9:15 am)
21. Send the baby in to say, "I hungry, Mama!" (9:15 am)
22. "Can we have some cake?" (9:15 am)
23. "I don't want an apple." (9:15 am)
24. "I don't want an orange or a banana or some water." (9:15 am)
25. "Why do we have to get out of the kitchen?" (9:15 am)
26. Someone mumbles, "But we aren't in Africa...." (9:16 am)
27. Someone else mumbles, "But we ARE starving..."(9:16 am)
28. "Can I have an apple?" (9:24 am)
29. "Yay!!! Mom said we can have an apple!" (9:24 am)
30. "Mom, can I have an orange?" (9:24 am)
31. "Yes, she said I can have an orange!" (9:24 am, like those aren't the same snacks I offered them less than 10 minutes before.)
32. "Let's go play?" (9:30 am)
33. "Let's go play with the train set." (9:30 am)
34. "Let's go play with the train set and make the Hulk attack it." (9:30 am)
35. "MOM! They are making the train set into a Barbie train set and won't let the Hulk attack it!" (9:44 am)
36. "Mama. Dey not stop touching my train set." (9:44 am)
37. "Dat's my train set." (9:44 am)
38. "I not share!" (9:44 am)
39. "I not sit down." (9:44 am)
40. "Can I get outta time out?" (9:48 am)
41. "I sorry. I love you. I be good." (9:48 am and the toddler is giggling and sniffing back tears as he joins his siblings that are calmly playing with the train set.)
42. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *shrieking* (9:50 am)
43. "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I broked the train set." (9:50 am and yes that is the toddler that said he was sorry.)
44. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! NO TIME OUT!" (9:50 am)
45. "Good. Now, we can play." (9:51 am)
46. "No fairs! No fairs! Noooooooooooooooo fairs!!!!!!!!!!" (9:51 am and toddler is back in time out.)
47. "Stop!" (9:51 am)
48. "That isn't what we are playing!!!!!!" (9:51am)
49. "Why do we have to go to our rooms?????? We weren't all fighting!" (9:52 am)
50. "Mom, can we have lunch?" (10:00 am)
1. "Can I have some cake?" (at 7:55 am)
2. "Can I have some breakfast?" (at 7:55 and 32 seconds am)
3. "Can I have some cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
4. "Why can't I have cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
5. "Why did you eat cake for breakfast?" (at 7:56 am)
6. "Can I have waffles?" (7:57 am)
7. NOT DIRECTED AT ME: "Isn't it funny how cake and waffles have the same ingredients in them, yet one is a breakfast food and the other is a dessert?" (8:30 am)
8. "We are going to go play!" (9 am)
9. "Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!" (9:10 am)
10. "That is not fair." (9:10 am)
11. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" (9:10 am)
12. "Give it back!" (9:10 am)
13. "That is mine!" (9:10 am)
14. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
15. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
16. "That is MINE!" (9:10 am)
17. "Mooooooooooom! Mom! MAMA! Mommy!" (9:10 am)
18. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!" (9:10 am)
19. When giving the option to go to their separate rooms: "We are going to go play!" (9:11 am)
20. "I'm hungry!" (9:15 am)
21. Send the baby in to say, "I hungry, Mama!" (9:15 am)
22. "Can we have some cake?" (9:15 am)
23. "I don't want an apple." (9:15 am)
24. "I don't want an orange or a banana or some water." (9:15 am)
25. "Why do we have to get out of the kitchen?" (9:15 am)
26. Someone mumbles, "But we aren't in Africa...." (9:16 am)
27. Someone else mumbles, "But we ARE starving..."(9:16 am)
28. "Can I have an apple?" (9:24 am)
29. "Yay!!! Mom said we can have an apple!" (9:24 am)
30. "Mom, can I have an orange?" (9:24 am)
31. "Yes, she said I can have an orange!" (9:24 am, like those aren't the same snacks I offered them less than 10 minutes before.)
32. "Let's go play?" (9:30 am)
33. "Let's go play with the train set." (9:30 am)
34. "Let's go play with the train set and make the Hulk attack it." (9:30 am)
35. "MOM! They are making the train set into a Barbie train set and won't let the Hulk attack it!" (9:44 am)
36. "Mama. Dey not stop touching my train set." (9:44 am)
37. "Dat's my train set." (9:44 am)
38. "I not share!" (9:44 am)
39. "I not sit down." (9:44 am)
40. "Can I get outta time out?" (9:48 am)
41. "I sorry. I love you. I be good." (9:48 am and the toddler is giggling and sniffing back tears as he joins his siblings that are calmly playing with the train set.)
42. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *shrieking* (9:50 am)
43. "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I broked the train set." (9:50 am and yes that is the toddler that said he was sorry.)
44. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! NO TIME OUT!" (9:50 am)
45. "Good. Now, we can play." (9:51 am)
46. "No fairs! No fairs! Noooooooooooooooo fairs!!!!!!!!!!" (9:51 am and toddler is back in time out.)
47. "Stop!" (9:51 am)
48. "That isn't what we are playing!!!!!!" (9:51am)
49. "Why do we have to go to our rooms?????? We weren't all fighting!" (9:52 am)
50. "Mom, can we have lunch?" (10:00 am)
Mommy Proof #38: Snow days are STOOPID!
I have learned a few things after being cooped up in the house with four children.
1. Snow days are STOOPID!
2. Snow is STOOPID!
3. Falling precipitation in freezing temperatures is STOOPID!
4. Time can literally stand still.
5. You may not cherish these moments.
6. Your kids are not as cute as you may have thought that they were...
7. Sayings like, "He got that from his father's side..." have never been more true.
8. You can't run away from home in 7 inches of snow and ice. You have to walk very slowly. That gives kids a chance to catch up to you.
9. Snowball fights shouldn't be initiated by a mother that has cabin fever. You may maniacally do it as a torturous comeback for everything they did to you that day.
10. Make them hot chocolate and cherish these moments. :-/
I have learned a few things after being cooped up in the house with four children.
1. Snow days are STOOPID!
2. Snow is STOOPID!
3. Falling precipitation in freezing temperatures is STOOPID!
4. Time can literally stand still.
5. You may not cherish these moments.
6. Your kids are not as cute as you may have thought that they were...
7. Sayings like, "He got that from his father's side..." have never been more true.
8. You can't run away from home in 7 inches of snow and ice. You have to walk very slowly. That gives kids a chance to catch up to you.
9. Snowball fights shouldn't be initiated by a mother that has cabin fever. You may maniacally do it as a torturous comeback for everything they did to you that day.
10. Make them hot chocolate and cherish these moments. :-/
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Mommy Proof #37: LEARN CPR and FIRST AID!
I can't wait to say farewell to 2013. In many ways, it was filled with funny and fleeting moments that passed too quickly. We felt very scared and helpless when our nine year old needed emergency surgery. We nursed little wounds and big heartbreaks. We triumphed when our children excelled in school and beat the odds.
I cried many nights when I realized that we had a series of "lasts" that I will never experience again. I achieved my goals of nursing to age 2. I mourned the fact that there would never be another crib in our home or swing in our living room. I packed up the last of their newborn clothes and gave them away. We will never have a baby that tiny in our bassinet again. Then, I began to look towards the future again.
Three weeks ago, I sat beside my youngest child and peeled an orange for him. I had just checked on dinner, but he just couldn't wait until it was done. (It is a perfect snack really. They are described on the commercial as easy to peel and eat. We love them!) My oldest son was on the couch watching a movie. My oldest girl was in the den appreciating some quiet time. My youngest girl was napping on the couch. I looked down at my youngest to see if he was ready for another slice of orange. My heart stopped.
My precious boy was silently choking. Not a sound was emitted as he gagged and heaved, tears and drool running from his eyes and mouth. I looked at him and froze. I choked. I couldn't move. I said a quick prayer that he would be able to gag it up, that his father would walk in from work, that I could go back in time and never peel that orange, but we all know that last thing couldn't happen. His face began to turn colors and I shot into action. I used a finger since I could see a portion of orange to sweep his mouth and airway clear. I ended up pushing it farther back.
My breathing stopped and tears came to my eyes. I called for my oldest daughter to get the phone and call 911. I met eyes with my oldest son whose attention had been pulled away from the movie he had been watching. His mouth was moving rhythmically as his eyes and hands showed his quiet panic. When I could decipher his whispers, "Please don't let him die," my heart broke in a million pieces. He let out a strangled, "MOM..." And I sprung back into action. I saw what he saw. An empty bed in his room. A lifeless body. A stupid orange slice. A tiny coffin. A funeral. My baby. His brother....gone. All of the information flooded back into my brain from my CPR and First Aid class. I performed the motions that they described and showed to me. I detached myself and picked the baby up, mimicking the actions like he wasn't my choking child, but that silly doll. I caught eyes with his brother and said, "It's okay" as I did it. I finally took a breath when I heard an audible gag, then,wails as my baby caught his breath and the color returned to his face.
As I focused back into reality, I heard my daughter hysterically asking about whether she should dial 911. I wiped my baby's face from saliva and tears. I comforted him and his siblings paying close attention to his older brother who was holding onto my waist. Then, we laughed as my youngest daughter woke up and asked what happened. Then we all froze when the baby asked for another orange slice. :-/
So as you enter 2014 with your little ones, whether they are newborns or pre-teens, sign up for a CPR and First Aid class in your area. Pay the fee and give yourself some peace of mind. I took that first class 9 years ago and would never have imagined that I would need it in an emergency, but I did and you just might. So let's make that the first thing on our "To Do" list. Share this post and spread the word. I'll be going back to cuddle my babies. ;-)
I can't wait to say farewell to 2013. In many ways, it was filled with funny and fleeting moments that passed too quickly. We felt very scared and helpless when our nine year old needed emergency surgery. We nursed little wounds and big heartbreaks. We triumphed when our children excelled in school and beat the odds.
I cried many nights when I realized that we had a series of "lasts" that I will never experience again. I achieved my goals of nursing to age 2. I mourned the fact that there would never be another crib in our home or swing in our living room. I packed up the last of their newborn clothes and gave them away. We will never have a baby that tiny in our bassinet again. Then, I began to look towards the future again.
Three weeks ago, I sat beside my youngest child and peeled an orange for him. I had just checked on dinner, but he just couldn't wait until it was done. (It is a perfect snack really. They are described on the commercial as easy to peel and eat. We love them!) My oldest son was on the couch watching a movie. My oldest girl was in the den appreciating some quiet time. My youngest girl was napping on the couch. I looked down at my youngest to see if he was ready for another slice of orange. My heart stopped.
My precious boy was silently choking. Not a sound was emitted as he gagged and heaved, tears and drool running from his eyes and mouth. I looked at him and froze. I choked. I couldn't move. I said a quick prayer that he would be able to gag it up, that his father would walk in from work, that I could go back in time and never peel that orange, but we all know that last thing couldn't happen. His face began to turn colors and I shot into action. I used a finger since I could see a portion of orange to sweep his mouth and airway clear. I ended up pushing it farther back.
My breathing stopped and tears came to my eyes. I called for my oldest daughter to get the phone and call 911. I met eyes with my oldest son whose attention had been pulled away from the movie he had been watching. His mouth was moving rhythmically as his eyes and hands showed his quiet panic. When I could decipher his whispers, "Please don't let him die," my heart broke in a million pieces. He let out a strangled, "MOM..." And I sprung back into action. I saw what he saw. An empty bed in his room. A lifeless body. A stupid orange slice. A tiny coffin. A funeral. My baby. His brother....gone. All of the information flooded back into my brain from my CPR and First Aid class. I performed the motions that they described and showed to me. I detached myself and picked the baby up, mimicking the actions like he wasn't my choking child, but that silly doll. I caught eyes with his brother and said, "It's okay" as I did it. I finally took a breath when I heard an audible gag, then,wails as my baby caught his breath and the color returned to his face.
As I focused back into reality, I heard my daughter hysterically asking about whether she should dial 911. I wiped my baby's face from saliva and tears. I comforted him and his siblings paying close attention to his older brother who was holding onto my waist. Then, we laughed as my youngest daughter woke up and asked what happened. Then we all froze when the baby asked for another orange slice. :-/
So as you enter 2014 with your little ones, whether they are newborns or pre-teens, sign up for a CPR and First Aid class in your area. Pay the fee and give yourself some peace of mind. I took that first class 9 years ago and would never have imagined that I would need it in an emergency, but I did and you just might. So let's make that the first thing on our "To Do" list. Share this post and spread the word. I'll be going back to cuddle my babies. ;-)
Friday, November 15, 2013
OUR VERY FIRST DADDY PROOF!
Our children's school hosts a Family week. A small chunk of time is set aside in the morning, so that children can begin their day with a smile. This week, I missed it. I felt horrible. The next day was Doughnuts for Dad. Our second grader begged my husband to come to her Doughnuts for Dad.
My husband was finally home on a weekday that would allow him to go for Doughnuts for Dads. Although it would take some rearranging of his schedule and possibly a penalty from his place of employment for the short notice, my husband called into work and told them he would be a little late. The kids were overjoyed. They woke up and didn't expect to see their dad there. He usually leaves before they wake up.
The kids left for school as happy as can be. My foursome were off to enjoy the morning, but, later that morning, I received a phone call that I didn't expect. Something bothered my husband as he left the school that day. It weighed heavily on his mind. I asked him how the morning went and he told me fine. He didn't realize that this event was also for our older child and he forgot to sign her in, but she spoke up in her true older daughter fashion. Our second oldest child was happy and had a great time. Then, my husband told me what was really bothering him.
He dropped our son off in the classroom the way he would normally do in the morning. As he walked our second grader to her classroom, she urged him to go back and get her brother. "Let him come to my class, Dad!" My husband responded, "No, he has to go to his class and we go to yours." As he passed back by his classroom, he threw his hand up to wave. Our son briefly looked excited. Then he realized that he had to stay in the classroom and his face saddened. That bothered my husband and he called to talk to me about it. As he rambled on about 5K's Doughnuts for Dad, I felt my heart drop and tears came to my eyes....
See, there was not going to be a 5K's Doughnuts for Dad. That isn't how it works. Although some activities are separated according to grades, that was not one of them. Our son missed breakfast with his dad. He missed out on his first Doughnuts for Dad. What made it worse is that he realized it and my husband realized it too late. My heart was breaking for the both of them. I kept on imagining my son sitting in that classroom dejected and hurt. I wasn't there to hold him and comfort him. I'm also not positive I could have made it better at that point.
We spoke about ways to make it up to him and then got off the phone. Around 15 minutes later, I received another phone call. It was my husband and he wasn't in the company truck. He was in his own and he was on his way to get our son out of school. He had only been at work for two hours, but he just kept on picturing that look on our son's face. He couldn't concentrate. It made him physically ill with the thought of it. He explained to me that this could make or break his relationship with our son and he couldn't get to him soon enough.
He walked into the school and explained what happened. He went and got our baby who still had that same look on his face. He apologized and explained the mistake he made. He took him out to lunch and to spend the day with him. Everywhere they went people would inquire about why our son was out of school. Everywhere they went, my husband would explain the mistake he made...but he did much more than that. In the words of our son, "Every time I blinked, I thought I'd burst into tears. But then my dad came back!" So, that is the lesson learned. We live at a time when we have to spend time away from our children, so we should strive to make every moment with them count. If we make a mistake in one of those moments, make it right. Make it better. This concludes our first Daddy Proof. Good job, Daddy!
 |
| When we talked to our six year old about how he felt, he used his hands. "He heart 'broked' me, Mom." |
 | |||
| "...But then my dad came back for me!" |
(I'd like to also thank our son's teachers. They tried to soothe his broken heart.)
Friday, October 25, 2013
#35: When life hands you pumpkins, make pumpkin cupcakes.
Are there any kindergartners in America that have not visited a pumpkin patch this October? I know mine have for the past 3 years. The first two times, we had rotten pumpkins to throw away. It pained me to do that, but I did not know what else to do with them. Until I discovered what may be the best fall desert that every existed. Here it is! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
PUMPKIN CUPCAKES
Ingredients:
Browned Butter Icing
Are there any kindergartners in America that have not visited a pumpkin patch this October? I know mine have for the past 3 years. The first two times, we had rotten pumpkins to throw away. It pained me to do that, but I did not know what else to do with them. Until I discovered what may be the best fall desert that every existed. Here it is! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
PUMPKIN CUPCAKES
Ingredients:
- 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, sift before measuring
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- 1/2 cup butter, softened
- 1 1/3 cups sugar
- 2 eggs, beaten until frothy
- 1 cup mashed cooked or canned pumpkin
- 3/4 cup milk
- 3/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
Preparation:
Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg into a bowl. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy; beat in eggs. Blend in mashed pumpkin. Stir in the sifted dry ingredients alternately with the milk, blending until batter is smooth after each addition; stir in chopped walnuts or pecans. Spoon batter into well-greased and floured or paper-lined muffin pan cups. Fill about 2/3 full. Bake at 375° for 20-25 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean.Browned Butter Icing
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup margarine or butter
- 4 cups sifted powdered sugar
- 2 tablespoons milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
Directions
In a small saucepan heat margarine or butter
over low heat until melted; continue heating until margarine or butter
turns a delicate brown. Remove from heat; pour into small mixing bowl.
Add powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla; beat with an electric mixer on
low speed until combined. Beat on medium to high speed, adding
additional milk, if necessary, to make frosting of a spreading
consistency. Makes enough to frost tops and sides of two 8- or 9-inch
cake layers (12 servings).
To cook my pumpkin, I washed my pumpkin first. Then, cut the pumpkin in half and roasted it for an hour on 400 degrees. It also works with sweet potatoes!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Mommy Proof #34: What works for your family, works for YOUR family.
Guess what? Last week, we were all waiting for our children in the car line. I overheard one of the funniest statements I ever heard. "I. Would. Never...." Those three words are designed for the foolish. I do not believe you can ever say "never" in reference to what you will do in life. Life just isn't that simple. This conversation was about ADHD medications, other diagnosis, and children.
Guess what else? I used to be that parent. Everything was over diagnosed. Children were overly medicated. If people disciplined better, their children would behave better. Then, I had children. It was fine at first. The kids were well behaved. They acted liked kids, sometimes needed to be redirected, but, overall, parenting was pretty uneventful. Until, I sent them to school.
I'm not going to mention which one of my children, but let's just say that kid is a chatterbox. Never met a stranger. Always has a response. Stays asking a question, then telling you the answer. It was fine in kindergarten and 1st grade. The second grade, we started seeing yellows every now and then. In third grade, I saw an inconsistency with grades, but still doing well enough to pass. That was the first time a teacher asked about a possibility of attention deficit disorder. I ignored the teacher.
That wasn't my child's problem. My kid wasn't trying hard enough. I thought if we focused better. Maybe we should study more. Then, fourth grade started. I began to see this outgoing and happy kid have feelings of worthlessness. I would chastise and rack my brain as to how a test could be taken and the WHOLE second page was skipped resulting in a 15%. Stuff I knew we went over would be missed on an assignment. One day, I decided to see, just see, what the symptoms of ADHD and ADD were. If that list didn't describe my child.....every, single, thing. It broke my heart. I failed my child based on my own views of reality.
Well, we changed diets. We played around with schedules. We attempted different ways of studying and focusing. Nothing worked. So we decided to start medication. The grades came up and with that self-confidence followed suit. This is what I learned:
1. ADHD/ADD may be able to be treated in different ways, but sometimes medication is needed.
2. If medication is needed, it doesn't have to change your child into a "zombie." If your child does have those issues, then something needs to be addressed. We started with the smallest dosage and never experienced those issues. If we had, we would have changed medications.
3. Seek professional help if you see signs and symptoms. Do not allow you children to become disheartened.
I don't know if the rise in diagnosis are environmental or what, but they are on the rise. Do not fail your child.
Guess what? Last week, we were all waiting for our children in the car line. I overheard one of the funniest statements I ever heard. "I. Would. Never...." Those three words are designed for the foolish. I do not believe you can ever say "never" in reference to what you will do in life. Life just isn't that simple. This conversation was about ADHD medications, other diagnosis, and children.
Guess what else? I used to be that parent. Everything was over diagnosed. Children were overly medicated. If people disciplined better, their children would behave better. Then, I had children. It was fine at first. The kids were well behaved. They acted liked kids, sometimes needed to be redirected, but, overall, parenting was pretty uneventful. Until, I sent them to school.
I'm not going to mention which one of my children, but let's just say that kid is a chatterbox. Never met a stranger. Always has a response. Stays asking a question, then telling you the answer. It was fine in kindergarten and 1st grade. The second grade, we started seeing yellows every now and then. In third grade, I saw an inconsistency with grades, but still doing well enough to pass. That was the first time a teacher asked about a possibility of attention deficit disorder. I ignored the teacher.
That wasn't my child's problem. My kid wasn't trying hard enough. I thought if we focused better. Maybe we should study more. Then, fourth grade started. I began to see this outgoing and happy kid have feelings of worthlessness. I would chastise and rack my brain as to how a test could be taken and the WHOLE second page was skipped resulting in a 15%. Stuff I knew we went over would be missed on an assignment. One day, I decided to see, just see, what the symptoms of ADHD and ADD were. If that list didn't describe my child.....every, single, thing. It broke my heart. I failed my child based on my own views of reality.
Well, we changed diets. We played around with schedules. We attempted different ways of studying and focusing. Nothing worked. So we decided to start medication. The grades came up and with that self-confidence followed suit. This is what I learned:
1. ADHD/ADD may be able to be treated in different ways, but sometimes medication is needed.
2. If medication is needed, it doesn't have to change your child into a "zombie." If your child does have those issues, then something needs to be addressed. We started with the smallest dosage and never experienced those issues. If we had, we would have changed medications.
3. Seek professional help if you see signs and symptoms. Do not allow you children to become disheartened.
I don't know if the rise in diagnosis are environmental or what, but they are on the rise. Do not fail your child.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Mommy Proof #33: Enjoy the moment.
I took three and a half months off from blogging. I shut down partially. I still posted pictures to tell my story on Instagram and Facebook, including countless others that went to close family and friends. Pictures tell a story. I am sure my kids are tired of the camera or phone always being ready for a snapshot, but they serve a purpose. My loves will see their lives through my eyes. Always a moment ready to be captured. A smile waiting to be memorialized. As these days fade from moment to moment and time blends into time, I want them to remember. They were loved. They were happy. They are the source of my joy.
I took three and a half months off from blogging. I shut down partially. I still posted pictures to tell my story on Instagram and Facebook, including countless others that went to close family and friends. Pictures tell a story. I am sure my kids are tired of the camera or phone always being ready for a snapshot, but they serve a purpose. My loves will see their lives through my eyes. Always a moment ready to be captured. A smile waiting to be memorialized. As these days fade from moment to moment and time blends into time, I want them to remember. They were loved. They were happy. They are the source of my joy.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Mommy Proof #32: To potty train, you must be all "in."
After reading Six Rs to Potty Training, one of the mommies has an "independent diva" that she is having a rough time potty training. I'm hoping these pointers will help! Some people do not agree, but I feel potty training can be a play of "control" with some toddlers. Ever heard of a child urinating on the floor in defiance? My first child was almost 3 before she was potty trained and it was my husband that took the lead. Here are the things that I learned with her.
You have to be all "in": inclusion, intuition, intrigue, incentives, enthusiasm.
1. Inclusion means the state of being included. Potty training is an odd concept. "You want me to do what? In where?" It sounds absolutely ridiculous. From birth, they have been doing what is natural to them. To go when they had to and now we want them to learn something totally new. Also, everyone has to be included. It can be done in a long weekend. Meaning for some children, that ground work has been laid. Once it is laid, everyone has to fall in line. Speak to them, "Little one, starting tomorrow we need to use the potty all of the time!"
2. Intuition is necessary because they are learning something that she hasn't done before. I take my newly potty trained child every 15-20 minutes or so while giving them plenty to drink. Watermelon is a great snack if she likes it. ;-) I don't ask if they need to go. I tell the child it is time to use the potty now. Coax them with phrases so they know what you want them to do. This is where the potty training doll can be very helpful. Drink goes in here, Peepee comes out there! A phrase that helped with all of mine is, "Peepee come out!"
My second child held her urine until she was literally about to burst. The kid didn't want it to run down her legs and she didn't want to clean the floor. She couldn't even stand up straight. I sat her down on the potty and told the "peepee" to come out. I asked her where her tummy was hurting, which was at the top of her bladder and pressed ever so slightly. The flood gates opened and she learned the muscle that is needed to control it. We sometimes have to "show" them how to go.
3. Interest will make even the most headstrong kid come running to see what you are doing. I have used some interesting methods to get a child excited about using the potty. If you are comfortable, drink something, feign your "OH, MY! I have to go" action, and go running to the bathroom telling her to follow. Yes, I have done this. I also cheered for myself when I went. Sang the song as I washed my hands. Maybe, clapped for myself when I finished. :-/ BUT IT WORKED! The doll can serve the same purpose, without the Academy Award performance. I was that good, really nailed that role. Let her feed the baby and take her to the potty. It will click.
4. Incentives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snacks, stickers, stamps on the hand, dancing, praising, and singing. But my greatest incentive of all was starting with all white panties. There are two reasons: THEY ARE BORING! THEY ARE EASY TO BLEACH! Once she has been dry for a week straight, you bring out the big kid undies. The colorful ones, maybe with characters, flowers, etc. They worked every time.
5: My last tip is ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same way you would teach letters, numbers, and colors be enthusiastic. Would you want to learn something boring? Enough said!
After reading Six Rs to Potty Training, one of the mommies has an "independent diva" that she is having a rough time potty training. I'm hoping these pointers will help! Some people do not agree, but I feel potty training can be a play of "control" with some toddlers. Ever heard of a child urinating on the floor in defiance? My first child was almost 3 before she was potty trained and it was my husband that took the lead. Here are the things that I learned with her.
You have to be all "in": inclusion, intuition, intrigue, incentives, enthusiasm.
1. Inclusion means the state of being included. Potty training is an odd concept. "You want me to do what? In where?" It sounds absolutely ridiculous. From birth, they have been doing what is natural to them. To go when they had to and now we want them to learn something totally new. Also, everyone has to be included. It can be done in a long weekend. Meaning for some children, that ground work has been laid. Once it is laid, everyone has to fall in line. Speak to them, "Little one, starting tomorrow we need to use the potty all of the time!"
2. Intuition is necessary because they are learning something that she hasn't done before. I take my newly potty trained child every 15-20 minutes or so while giving them plenty to drink. Watermelon is a great snack if she likes it. ;-) I don't ask if they need to go. I tell the child it is time to use the potty now. Coax them with phrases so they know what you want them to do. This is where the potty training doll can be very helpful. Drink goes in here, Peepee comes out there! A phrase that helped with all of mine is, "Peepee come out!"
My second child held her urine until she was literally about to burst. The kid didn't want it to run down her legs and she didn't want to clean the floor. She couldn't even stand up straight. I sat her down on the potty and told the "peepee" to come out. I asked her where her tummy was hurting, which was at the top of her bladder and pressed ever so slightly. The flood gates opened and she learned the muscle that is needed to control it. We sometimes have to "show" them how to go.
3. Interest will make even the most headstrong kid come running to see what you are doing. I have used some interesting methods to get a child excited about using the potty. If you are comfortable, drink something, feign your "OH, MY! I have to go" action, and go running to the bathroom telling her to follow. Yes, I have done this. I also cheered for myself when I went. Sang the song as I washed my hands. Maybe, clapped for myself when I finished. :-/ BUT IT WORKED! The doll can serve the same purpose, without the Academy Award performance. I was that good, really nailed that role. Let her feed the baby and take her to the potty. It will click.
4. Incentives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snacks, stickers, stamps on the hand, dancing, praising, and singing. But my greatest incentive of all was starting with all white panties. There are two reasons: THEY ARE BORING! THEY ARE EASY TO BLEACH! Once she has been dry for a week straight, you bring out the big kid undies. The colorful ones, maybe with characters, flowers, etc. They worked every time.
5: My last tip is ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!! The same way you would teach letters, numbers, and colors be enthusiastic. Would you want to learn something boring? Enough said!
 |
| Unofficial tip #6: Don't put a camera in the face of a toddler who is on the potty. You may or may not end up with urine on your foot. :'-( |
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Mommy Proof #31: Take a picture. It lasts longer.
Fewer moments in life are more exciting than bringing home a new baby. Oh, the smell of their newness will intoxicate a person making them unfit to make long term decisions. How many of us has left a new mother's house with nostalgia surrounding us in a cloud of memories? The thing about memories are that they are rarely as simple as we'd like to remember. So here are five reminders when welcoming a new baby home.
1. They say newborns eat, sleep,and poop. That is a lie they tell you to fool you into having more children. Be prepared for your newborn to sleep beautifully in the hospital. The minute you bring them home they will engage you into a battle of wills. They will battle you until one of you passes out. They will win.
2. If you bring home a boy, be prepared for them to mark their territory. Everything is their territory. Your bed, their changing table, your couch....your face.
3. Newborns are cute and cuddly when they want to be. When they get hungry and/or wet, they turn into raging beasts. Remember to always keep them dry and clean. Remember that this is impossible. Because as soon as you change a diaper, they eat. Then as soon as you feed them, they soil or wet themselves. You are failing at life.
4. Sleep when the baby sleeps! Keep in mind that the baby only sleeps at times that you need to be up and busy. Don't expect to make dinner if you are sleeping. If you have an older child......Well, sleep with your eyes open.
5. Enjoy it! A year from the day you bring your newborn home, you will be remembering how small they were and how fast they grew. Let their be dirty dishes in the sink. Keep up with laundry as you can. Photograph that first smile. Newborns are only new for a short period of time. Hold your newborn the way your friends with older children do. Drink in their essence. You can do it!
A special note to a special mommy: I hope you have an uneventful, quick, painless labor. :-/ Okay, well the painless part won't happen, but you will be just fine. I know you will continue to be as awesome a mother as your mother was to you. Now get to pushing!
Fewer moments in life are more exciting than bringing home a new baby. Oh, the smell of their newness will intoxicate a person making them unfit to make long term decisions. How many of us has left a new mother's house with nostalgia surrounding us in a cloud of memories? The thing about memories are that they are rarely as simple as we'd like to remember. So here are five reminders when welcoming a new baby home.
 |
| In your memory, having a newborn feels like this... |
 |
| In reality....Need I say more? |
2. If you bring home a boy, be prepared for them to mark their territory. Everything is their territory. Your bed, their changing table, your couch....your face.
3. Newborns are cute and cuddly when they want to be. When they get hungry and/or wet, they turn into raging beasts. Remember to always keep them dry and clean. Remember that this is impossible. Because as soon as you change a diaper, they eat. Then as soon as you feed them, they soil or wet themselves. You are failing at life.
4. Sleep when the baby sleeps! Keep in mind that the baby only sleeps at times that you need to be up and busy. Don't expect to make dinner if you are sleeping. If you have an older child......Well, sleep with your eyes open.
5. Enjoy it! A year from the day you bring your newborn home, you will be remembering how small they were and how fast they grew. Let their be dirty dishes in the sink. Keep up with laundry as you can. Photograph that first smile. Newborns are only new for a short period of time. Hold your newborn the way your friends with older children do. Drink in their essence. You can do it!
A special note to a special mommy: I hope you have an uneventful, quick, painless labor. :-/ Okay, well the painless part won't happen, but you will be just fine. I know you will continue to be as awesome a mother as your mother was to you. Now get to pushing!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Mommy Proof #30: It's okay to cry.
My oldest child had emergency surgery last week. Emergency is a word that is scary enough. Surgery is enough to make your heart stall. They have to put her under anesthesia. They have to cut her little body. She will forever be altered. How much pain will she be in? How will she cope? How will I cope? Who will watch my other children? Who will keep them during the surgery? What do I tell them? Then, your mind starts to run the gamut of "What ifs?" What if the surgeon isn't the best? What if there is a complication? What if she doesn't wake up? What if...
There are no correct answers. In the hospital room before she was wheeled out of surgery, I paced back and forth with my mind racing. We went from a low grade fever and tummy ache to being admitted into the hospital. My baby was about to be cut open for the surgeon to remove her appendix, yet there she lay laughing and joking with us. So, I had to be brave. I couldn't show that I was scared. I couldn't cry. The problem is......I love to cry. I absolutely love to cry. It is great. It is a way to purge all of my emotions. It may be my favorite past time, but it isn't always productive. If I had shown her my tears, she would have known that I was scared. Then, she would have been scared.
Instead, I smiled and made lame jokes. Horribly, lame jokes. I didn't expect her to laugh and she didn't. It did break the ice though. It did allow her to say she didn't expect this to happen. It did help her to put her emotions into words. It made me realize that this was moving much too fast for her, too. It is probably what helped us to cope. From stomach ache to surgery, we didn't have time to be afraid. We had to face this head on and it made the hard decisions easy to make.
Life has a funny way of repeating itself. Nine and a half years before, it was just us in a hospital room facing the unknown. We didn't know what to expect, but we knew the next step had to be made. As her bed was rolled out of her room, I followed while silently praying. I prayed for her well being. I prayed she would be fine. I prayed everything would go well. I prayed that the surgeon would take care of her as I would. I prayed that this would all be over. I prayed that this would go away. I laughed as she joked with the anesthesiologist. I chuckled at her attempt to make jokes even though you could see her fear. My heart swelled with joy when I saw her face as her father walked in to embrace her small body. Then, she was wheeled away from us through those doors where I had no control. We held hands and walked down the corridor. Finally, I took a deep breath and sobs replaced it. Short, strong sobs that did not help, but allowed myself to feel what my mind thought.
An hour later, the surgeon walked down the hall with a smile on his face. Her infected appendix was gone. She was in recovery. She was going to be just fine and I cried again. It is okay to cry. I cried when I saw her in recovery. I cried when she was determined to get out of bed and walk. I shed a couple tears when I saw the determination etched on her face as she would attempt to sit up by herself. As I said earlier, life has a funny way of repeating itself. Once again, it was just us in a hospital room. Amen.
My oldest child had emergency surgery last week. Emergency is a word that is scary enough. Surgery is enough to make your heart stall. They have to put her under anesthesia. They have to cut her little body. She will forever be altered. How much pain will she be in? How will she cope? How will I cope? Who will watch my other children? Who will keep them during the surgery? What do I tell them? Then, your mind starts to run the gamut of "What ifs?" What if the surgeon isn't the best? What if there is a complication? What if she doesn't wake up? What if...
There are no correct answers. In the hospital room before she was wheeled out of surgery, I paced back and forth with my mind racing. We went from a low grade fever and tummy ache to being admitted into the hospital. My baby was about to be cut open for the surgeon to remove her appendix, yet there she lay laughing and joking with us. So, I had to be brave. I couldn't show that I was scared. I couldn't cry. The problem is......I love to cry. I absolutely love to cry. It is great. It is a way to purge all of my emotions. It may be my favorite past time, but it isn't always productive. If I had shown her my tears, she would have known that I was scared. Then, she would have been scared.
 |
| Bob the Bear accompanied my daughter into the operating room. They removed his appendix, too. |
Instead, I smiled and made lame jokes. Horribly, lame jokes. I didn't expect her to laugh and she didn't. It did break the ice though. It did allow her to say she didn't expect this to happen. It did help her to put her emotions into words. It made me realize that this was moving much too fast for her, too. It is probably what helped us to cope. From stomach ache to surgery, we didn't have time to be afraid. We had to face this head on and it made the hard decisions easy to make.
Life has a funny way of repeating itself. Nine and a half years before, it was just us in a hospital room facing the unknown. We didn't know what to expect, but we knew the next step had to be made. As her bed was rolled out of her room, I followed while silently praying. I prayed for her well being. I prayed she would be fine. I prayed everything would go well. I prayed that the surgeon would take care of her as I would. I prayed that this would all be over. I prayed that this would go away. I laughed as she joked with the anesthesiologist. I chuckled at her attempt to make jokes even though you could see her fear. My heart swelled with joy when I saw her face as her father walked in to embrace her small body. Then, she was wheeled away from us through those doors where I had no control. We held hands and walked down the corridor. Finally, I took a deep breath and sobs replaced it. Short, strong sobs that did not help, but allowed myself to feel what my mind thought.
An hour later, the surgeon walked down the hall with a smile on his face. Her infected appendix was gone. She was in recovery. She was going to be just fine and I cried again. It is okay to cry. I cried when I saw her in recovery. I cried when she was determined to get out of bed and walk. I shed a couple tears when I saw the determination etched on her face as she would attempt to sit up by herself. As I said earlier, life has a funny way of repeating itself. Once again, it was just us in a hospital room. Amen.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Hello, little Miss Invisible
Mommy Proof #29: I may have failed to mention my middle child....
I take it middle child syndrome is real. We have a second born child. I don't believe I have ever mentioned her. I'm positive I have never blogged about her. I have mentioned having four. I have written about my youngest child and his demands for the vast amount of my attention. I have laughed about my mini-me who makes me wonder how I ever decided that I could be some one's mother. I have triumphed with my third child who has overcome a few learning disablities. In the midst of it all, I may have accidentally failed to mention that I do, indeed, have another child that makes that number into a fabulous four. Her name may have fallen by the wayside as I focused my efforts on the child that needed it the most at any given moment.
She is a seven year old girl with the biggest smile and brightest eyes that you can imagine. A tiny one with a Bostonian accent that we all wonder where it came from as we live in a tiny country town. A daddy's girl at night and a mommy's girl during the day, that is our child. She looks like her father and has a personality like her mother. The kid that hardly ever gets sick, but when she does so sick she is! A child who cries every morning about going to school and smiles every afternoon as I pick her up. The easy going kid that never gets in any trouble. She is a perfect student. Quiet, well-mannered, appropriately behaved...
The type of kid that will call you from the school nurse's phone feigning an illness. Then when you get to the school, you can look in her eyes and tell that is not the real reason she is upset. You gather her into your arms and she melts into position. A hug is the cure for her discomfort. A cuddle is the needed therapy for a headache. A little bit of love is needed to hold her for the remaining four hours of school. So that is what I do, time and time again. Sometimes staying at the school to sit for library time. Watching her as she first watches me to see if I will remain there, then I am watching her as she forgets that I am still there.
Then, she got sick and it reminded me of something. What if her sickness
is not just a virus? What if it is something serious? How many minutes
have I missed a memory to be made? So I decided to make more of an effort. I vowed to pay more attention than less when she is content to sit quietly. Instead of focusing on the ones that need to be entertained, what if I just go and sit quietly with her? What if I let her know that she is equally important? How many times have I neglected to do that? How content was she? I have come to cherish those times. They make her who she is and who she will become. I would hate for her to think that I focused so much on her siblings that I missed seeing her grow up...
 |
| One of the rare moments a family member captured. Just me, #2, and soon to #4.... |
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Mommy Proof #28: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."-Thumper, "Bambi" (1942)
Thoughtless Things People Say to Stay at Home Moms:
1. "Don't you get bored?" During the course of a day, I do at least two loads of laundry, prepare breakfast and lunch, prepare numerous snacks, teach and play with a toddler, clean the house, pick up after a toddler, do the dishes, get the kids ready for school, run errands, change at least 8 diapers, pick up three kids, entertain them, referee them, help with homework, prepare and cook dinner, give four baths, etc. Nope. I don't have time for boredom.
2. "I would love to sit around doing nothing all day." Yeah.....................Okay. Look at the response to number 1.
3. "What do you do all day?" Yeah........................Okay. Look at the response to number 1.
4. "Don't you want a real job?" Motherhood isn't a job. It's your life.
5. "Didn't you go to college?" I did. It wasn't challenging enough. O_o
6. "That would be my worst nightmare." Then, you must have some really lame dreams.
7. "I brought you the help wanted ads." Thanks. I've been needing a nurse, chef, maid, wet nurse, chauffeur, nanny, psychiatrist, assistant, repair woman, teacher...clone. :-/
8. "So...you are JUST a mom." Do I need to be more.
9. "You've never wanted to do something with your life." Nope. Never. This is it. Poor me, right?
10. "Yeah, you have too many kids to work." Yes, because raising four kids isn't work. I love being on vacation every day. During last week's vacation, I cleaned up after four kids that were sick with a stomach virus, while nursing a sick toddler, while sick myself.
Thoughtless Things People Say to Stay at Home Moms:
1. "Don't you get bored?" During the course of a day, I do at least two loads of laundry, prepare breakfast and lunch, prepare numerous snacks, teach and play with a toddler, clean the house, pick up after a toddler, do the dishes, get the kids ready for school, run errands, change at least 8 diapers, pick up three kids, entertain them, referee them, help with homework, prepare and cook dinner, give four baths, etc. Nope. I don't have time for boredom.
2. "I would love to sit around doing nothing all day." Yeah.....................Okay. Look at the response to number 1.
3. "What do you do all day?" Yeah........................Okay. Look at the response to number 1.
4. "Don't you want a real job?" Motherhood isn't a job. It's your life.
5. "Didn't you go to college?" I did. It wasn't challenging enough. O_o
6. "That would be my worst nightmare." Then, you must have some really lame dreams.
7. "I brought you the help wanted ads." Thanks. I've been needing a nurse, chef, maid, wet nurse, chauffeur, nanny, psychiatrist, assistant, repair woman, teacher...clone. :-/
8. "So...you are JUST a mom." Do I need to be more.
9. "You've never wanted to do something with your life." Nope. Never. This is it. Poor me, right?
10. "Yeah, you have too many kids to work." Yes, because raising four kids isn't work. I love being on vacation every day. During last week's vacation, I cleaned up after four kids that were sick with a stomach virus, while nursing a sick toddler, while sick myself.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Mommy Proof #27: Depression will suck all the life out of you, until you get help.
Ten Reasons to hate Postpartum Depression:
1. It makes you feel so tired that you won't even want to lift your head off your pillow.
2. It makes you want to cry.
3. You sometimes feel like ending it all.
4. You wonder if your baby hates you, if everyone hates you, if you hate yourself...
5. You may feel totally disconnected from the life you just brought forth from your loins.
6. It makes you think making dinner is the most insurmountable task that could ever exist.
7. You begin to smell if you don't take a shower.
8. There is hardly any joy in your life.
9. Everyone gets on your nerves.
10. You get on your own nerves.
Ten Reasons You Can Love Postpartum Depression:
1. When you do get to sleep, it is the best sleep in the world. You can literally sleep the day away, then sleep some more at night, and some more.
2. Wanting to cry all of the time stinks. BUT with tears, I can get my husband to clean the kitchen, help with homework, do the laundry, and tend to the baby...while I sleep.
3. When I feel like ending it all, I do it in the healthiest way possible. I stop stressing myself out. I stop trying to keep up with the dishes and laundry. I do the bare minimum to get me through that day with minimal guilt: pick up the kids, help with homework, prepare dinner, and give baths. Then, we sleep!
4. It helped me to appreciate my baby, kids, family, and friends once the worst of it was over. The kids had never been funnier and cuter. The baby made me want to laugh and cry with every milestone wondering what I missed when I was in my funk, then no longer caring. Because the end result was he did love me, they did love me, and I was loved, no matter what I thought.
5. You admit to yourself that being a mom is harder than it looks. Sometimes it does take a while to bond with the screaming, temperamental, bawling little stranger whose birth caused you to suffer the worst pain imaginable (AKA RING OF FIRE The Legend of the Doomsday Birther )
6. I had the best feeling when I would prepare a meal that would make my children happy and full. It was also nutritious. I did good!
7. Take the time to take care of yourself. When I finally starting caring about how I looked, I cared about how I felt.
8. Joy is the last thing you feel when you are depressed. The first time you really laugh after you get help will be a memorable occasion.
9. It is hard to go through day to day activities that deal with other people when you don't even want to get out of bed. There are rules that you must live by in civilized society. When I willingly went to the store the first time, I knew I could see the light at the end of the depression tunnel.
10. I still remember the day I looked in the mirror and smiled at what I saw. It was the day I remembered who I am and who I was.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. If you are feeling symptoms of postpartum depression, address it with your doctor. It doesn't make you weak. It will make you stronger.
Mayo Clinic's list of PPD symptoms
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546/DSECTION=symptoms
Ten Reasons to hate Postpartum Depression:
1. It makes you feel so tired that you won't even want to lift your head off your pillow.
2. It makes you want to cry.
3. You sometimes feel like ending it all.
4. You wonder if your baby hates you, if everyone hates you, if you hate yourself...
5. You may feel totally disconnected from the life you just brought forth from your loins.
6. It makes you think making dinner is the most insurmountable task that could ever exist.
7. You begin to smell if you don't take a shower.
8. There is hardly any joy in your life.
9. Everyone gets on your nerves.
10. You get on your own nerves.
Ten Reasons You Can Love Postpartum Depression:
1. When you do get to sleep, it is the best sleep in the world. You can literally sleep the day away, then sleep some more at night, and some more.
2. Wanting to cry all of the time stinks. BUT with tears, I can get my husband to clean the kitchen, help with homework, do the laundry, and tend to the baby...while I sleep.
3. When I feel like ending it all, I do it in the healthiest way possible. I stop stressing myself out. I stop trying to keep up with the dishes and laundry. I do the bare minimum to get me through that day with minimal guilt: pick up the kids, help with homework, prepare dinner, and give baths. Then, we sleep!
4. It helped me to appreciate my baby, kids, family, and friends once the worst of it was over. The kids had never been funnier and cuter. The baby made me want to laugh and cry with every milestone wondering what I missed when I was in my funk, then no longer caring. Because the end result was he did love me, they did love me, and I was loved, no matter what I thought.
5. You admit to yourself that being a mom is harder than it looks. Sometimes it does take a while to bond with the screaming, temperamental, bawling little stranger whose birth caused you to suffer the worst pain imaginable (AKA RING OF FIRE The Legend of the Doomsday Birther )
6. I had the best feeling when I would prepare a meal that would make my children happy and full. It was also nutritious. I did good!
7. Take the time to take care of yourself. When I finally starting caring about how I looked, I cared about how I felt.
8. Joy is the last thing you feel when you are depressed. The first time you really laugh after you get help will be a memorable occasion.
9. It is hard to go through day to day activities that deal with other people when you don't even want to get out of bed. There are rules that you must live by in civilized society. When I willingly went to the store the first time, I knew I could see the light at the end of the depression tunnel.
10. I still remember the day I looked in the mirror and smiled at what I saw. It was the day I remembered who I am and who I was.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. If you are feeling symptoms of postpartum depression, address it with your doctor. It doesn't make you weak. It will make you stronger.
Mayo Clinic's list of PPD symptoms
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546/DSECTION=symptoms
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Look What I Can Do, Didn't Do, Can't Decide to Do
Mommy Proof #26: The cloud really aren't following you...
Yes, it is time for a mommy confession. When I was younger and my magical imagination was still intact, I actually believed that the world really did revolve around me. So much so, that the clouds followed me around. Every time I looked out the window, that is what they were doing. Morphing into shapes that were just for my pleasure and entertainment. A lot of times, my mother didn't see those shapes until I pointed them out to her. If I stopped long enough to really look, the clouds would realize what I was doing and slowly start inching away from me. The clouds must have thought I would be a STAR!
Well, look where that has led me. I am a star. I can't have a conversation without the paparrazi...AKA kids....hanging on my every word. My toddler is always pulling my shirt off and hanging on my every movement. I have my very own stalkers. Every time I turn on a particular social network, I am bombarded by people that essentially want me to sponsor their every move. They hold us signs trying to get me to agree/like/share their every move. Because if I share it, others will.
"Like if you think I am pretty."
"My mom said if we get a million likes we can get a puppy."
"My dad said if we get a million shares we can get a kitten."
"Like if you love your mother, if you don't share you hate her."
"My husband said if we get a million likes we are going to Disney World."
"Like if you love bacon."
The first time I saw those likes, I was all for it. How could I not be happy that somebody's grandmother turned 103? How could it not be inspiring that the four year old had his last chemo treatment? Of course, I am cheering for them. How could I not? But somewhere along the lines, someone decided that turning 103 was too big of a feat for their family and decided to bring the 'likes' down to Earth. I began to wonder, just what is social media doing to our lives? Have we and are we raising a generation of people that can't make a decision without getting validation for it? Then, I saw the commercial where the little boy flushes the toilet and a parade arrives outside his door.
That is when I saw what has happened to our lives. Everything has become praiseworthy. The other day, I proudly exclaimed for the benefit of my tyrannical toddler, "I love how you are all playing nicely together!" One of the older kids said, "Look how I am building ALL BY MYSELF!" I was taken back as to what to say. Surely, she doesn't want me to repeat the earlier commendation. I decided to use my sarcastic wit as a reminder that she has been doing that since she was her little brother's age of 1. That made everyone collapse into giggles as they imagined themselves at his age. I began to wonder if I am doing to my children the very thing I hate. As I scrolled through my pictures, I was happy and afraid to see that I may have created a milestone of sorts: first smile, first prayer, first tooth filled grin, first snow, but what I didn't do was try to make it into a cornucopia of Mad TV "Stuart." (Please tell me you remember that comedic genius! "Look what I can do!" http://www.amazon.com/Best-MadTV-Seasons-Craig-Anton/dp/B000A88EUK ) I didn't post:
"Share if you like snow!"
"Like if you love to pray"
"Share if you like teeth, if you don't share your teeth will fall out."
I planned a trip to take the kids to Disney World and I took them without a million likes. The first time my kids got a pet I didn't petition my friends to share the picture. I didn't make a you tube video of my children pop locking to a Korean pop star. I have made it through my life so far without getting a million likes....or even a hundred. So this is my promise to you. You will never open this blog and see a picture of my toddler's first poop. You will never see if he smeared it all over his hands. You will never see the first time he asks if you like sea food, then opens his mouth for you to see his chewed up food. I may make a status about the last time he nurses, but I promise to NEVER, EVER post a picture of me crying outside with my empty milk-less breasts flapping in the wind. Now, share this blog for a million likes. O_o
Yes, it is time for a mommy confession. When I was younger and my magical imagination was still intact, I actually believed that the world really did revolve around me. So much so, that the clouds followed me around. Every time I looked out the window, that is what they were doing. Morphing into shapes that were just for my pleasure and entertainment. A lot of times, my mother didn't see those shapes until I pointed them out to her. If I stopped long enough to really look, the clouds would realize what I was doing and slowly start inching away from me. The clouds must have thought I would be a STAR!
Well, look where that has led me. I am a star. I can't have a conversation without the paparrazi...AKA kids....hanging on my every word. My toddler is always pulling my shirt off and hanging on my every movement. I have my very own stalkers. Every time I turn on a particular social network, I am bombarded by people that essentially want me to sponsor their every move. They hold us signs trying to get me to agree/like/share their every move. Because if I share it, others will.
"Like if you think I am pretty."
"My mom said if we get a million likes we can get a puppy."
"My dad said if we get a million shares we can get a kitten."
"Like if you love your mother, if you don't share you hate her."
"My husband said if we get a million likes we are going to Disney World."
"Like if you love bacon."
The first time I saw those likes, I was all for it. How could I not be happy that somebody's grandmother turned 103? How could it not be inspiring that the four year old had his last chemo treatment? Of course, I am cheering for them. How could I not? But somewhere along the lines, someone decided that turning 103 was too big of a feat for their family and decided to bring the 'likes' down to Earth. I began to wonder, just what is social media doing to our lives? Have we and are we raising a generation of people that can't make a decision without getting validation for it? Then, I saw the commercial where the little boy flushes the toilet and a parade arrives outside his door.
That is when I saw what has happened to our lives. Everything has become praiseworthy. The other day, I proudly exclaimed for the benefit of my tyrannical toddler, "I love how you are all playing nicely together!" One of the older kids said, "Look how I am building ALL BY MYSELF!" I was taken back as to what to say. Surely, she doesn't want me to repeat the earlier commendation. I decided to use my sarcastic wit as a reminder that she has been doing that since she was her little brother's age of 1. That made everyone collapse into giggles as they imagined themselves at his age. I began to wonder if I am doing to my children the very thing I hate. As I scrolled through my pictures, I was happy and afraid to see that I may have created a milestone of sorts: first smile, first prayer, first tooth filled grin, first snow, but what I didn't do was try to make it into a cornucopia of Mad TV "Stuart." (Please tell me you remember that comedic genius! "Look what I can do!" http://www.amazon.com/Best-MadTV-Seasons-Craig-Anton/dp/B000A88EUK ) I didn't post:
"Share if you like snow!"
"Like if you love to pray"
"Share if you like teeth, if you don't share your teeth will fall out."
I planned a trip to take the kids to Disney World and I took them without a million likes. The first time my kids got a pet I didn't petition my friends to share the picture. I didn't make a you tube video of my children pop locking to a Korean pop star. I have made it through my life so far without getting a million likes....or even a hundred. So this is my promise to you. You will never open this blog and see a picture of my toddler's first poop. You will never see if he smeared it all over his hands. You will never see the first time he asks if you like sea food, then opens his mouth for you to see his chewed up food. I may make a status about the last time he nurses, but I promise to NEVER, EVER post a picture of me crying outside with my empty milk-less breasts flapping in the wind. Now, share this blog for a million likes. O_o
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)